OMG!!! The Angriest Pharmacist posted a comment on my blog!!!! That's so cool. It's like....finding out your buddy used to have Bobby Orr as a hockey coach cause he was on the same team as his kid..... or like finding out that your mom's best friend that's always over at her house for tea used to shag Warren Beatty..... or like finding out that you are eating in the same restaurant that Ren & Matt were just at for a review. I'm just gonna sit back and wait for the moderately hot pharmacy ladies to head my way to bask in my internet awesomness.
Ok....just havin a laugh. But he did have a good post the other day that reminded me of two more phrases to add to my list.
http://www.theangriestpharmacist.com/2008/10/24/have-a-nice-day/
"Have a nice day" - Like TAestP I refused to use this one. I really didn't care if 90% of the people I rang through the cash actually had a "nice day" or if it was crap. There would be the occasional regular that I like that I'd say this to and mean it. But if I don't know your name without looking at your prescription.......or if I know your name because you've done your part to blacken my little corner of the world by being an asshole (funny how we remember these ones so vividly)....I'm not going to say it....just "thanks.....bye".
"How's it going?" I'll admit to using this one among friends or even coworkers. Sometimes I actually do care how it's going. And if they ask me....I might even say something other than "fine....how are you?"if that is actually the case. But when some person (store clerk or customer depending on which side of the counter I'm on) asks me.....I just say "Fine.....thanks" and leave it at that. It's actually pretty funny watching their brains completely malfunction from this variation on the script. About 1/3 of them still reply with their own "I'm good....thanks" and then look confused because they just realized they answered a question that was not asked. Most though have a little more self-control and just go straight to the confused face. I love that confused face.
So thanks for the material TAestP. I'll keep reading
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
Phrases that drive me nuts!
I'm sure everyone has a bunch of sayings and expressions that just drive them nuts. Whether they're illogical, nonsensical, redundant, or just too frequently used you just cringe whenever you hear someone use them. As a pharmacist, dealing with the public it seems you get exposed to them at a higher rate than maybe someone who isn't on the front lines with people all day, so here's some of mine.
"God Bless"
I seem to get this one a lot as a mixed thank-you/good-bye at the end of phone consultations. Mostly with old ladies, but the occasional younger person too. Why exactly would I want the blessing of your god? I'm sure they don't mean anything by it....kinda like when old ladies say that the lady down the hall "is really nice even though I think she's chinese"....but still. I'm not "offended" by it, and I'm also not offended by "God" being in the national anthem etc....but I bet she would be mighty offended if let's say a Satanist pharmacist at Safeway answered the phone
"Sorry to bother you, but....."
For starters. Even if it's 5 minutes to closing, I'm still getting paid to help you out...so don't be sorry. Ask your question and let's all get out of here.
The one exception.... Christmas (or other holidays). Don't tell me how sorry you are that I'm working. If you felt bad about my store being open, you wouldn't be there. Yes, if we weren't open, you couldn't be there.....but if we were open all day and nobody came, we sure as heck wouldn't be open next year. So you're not helping.
"It's a small world"
No, it's not. It's actually pretty big. But for some reason whenever people run into each other it's a small world. For starters, you know too many people. When you start small-worlding cause you ran into your second cousin's ex-wife, you might have a problem. And really, despite there being millions of places to go, people from similar backgrounds with similar experiences (that's why you know them) tend to cluster around the same places. You don't keep running into your old neighbour from Swift Current, Saskatchewan at a Red Lobster in calgary because it's a small world. You keep running into them because both of you have horrible taste in restaurants.
"Just put your John Henry on there"
I think/hope you mean "John Hancock". The guy who signed his name really big on the US declaration of independence, making his name synonymous with signatures. Not John Henry who is well known in american folk songs as a "Steel Driving Man". Of course you wouldn't actually know that since you think Leadbelly is the tummy-ache you get after a couple too many Jagerbombs. I would have to assume that "putting my john henry on there" would actually involve me swinging a sledge hammer through your counter. This could be arranged if you prefer.
"that thing that's going around"
People are always coming in asking for whatever is best for "that thing that's going around". Like there's only 1 disease in all of Calgary at a time. Or they come in, sick and ask if there's "something going around". There's always "something" going around you fool. A whole bunch of things. We had 3 cases of malaria at the hospital here a couple weeks ago....I should have given all these people malaria pills. Or, how bout you tell me how your "thing" is affecting you and we can just treat you and not what you perceive to be the beginning of an epidemic.
Well that's probably enough rage for now. Let me know what you think, or put your own most hated phrases in the comments. Maybe I'll make this an ongoing series.
"No problem"
As a reply to "thank you" from a store clerk this one is infuriating. You're right it's "no problem". It's your freaken job. If it is a problem for you to do your job, perhaps you should look into a new one. Oh...you mean you weren't being a jerk? Then the correct response to thank you, is....."You're Welcome!"
Or, in pharmacy when I would tell people their prescription would be 10 minutes or so.... "no problem".... Oh? Should I be expecting a problem when telling people a perfectly reasonable wait time for their drugs? The correct response is "thanks, I'll check back then", rather than what is basically a vague threat that if the time had not have been satisfactory than there would have been a "problem"
"Everything Happens for a Reason"
Yeah....It's called cause and effect. The reason this happened is because you or someone else did something that set the ball rolling and caused it to happen. The reason is not "god's will", "karma" or any of that garbage....although it could be "entropy".
"Can I ask you just a quick question?"
In pharmacy, there is no such thing as a quick question. Unless it's not actually about pharmacy related things, in which case I'd be more annoyed that you wasted 10 seconds of my time on .... toilet paper, watermelon, bus tickets..... than if you'd spent 10 minutes on diabetes questions.
Yeah....It's called cause and effect. The reason this happened is because you or someone else did something that set the ball rolling and caused it to happen. The reason is not "god's will", "karma" or any of that garbage....although it could be "entropy".
"Can I ask you just a quick question?"
In pharmacy, there is no such thing as a quick question. Unless it's not actually about pharmacy related things, in which case I'd be more annoyed that you wasted 10 seconds of my time on .... toilet paper, watermelon, bus tickets..... than if you'd spent 10 minutes on diabetes questions.
"God Bless"
I seem to get this one a lot as a mixed thank-you/good-bye at the end of phone consultations. Mostly with old ladies, but the occasional younger person too. Why exactly would I want the blessing of your god? I'm sure they don't mean anything by it....kinda like when old ladies say that the lady down the hall "is really nice even though I think she's chinese"....but still. I'm not "offended" by it, and I'm also not offended by "God" being in the national anthem etc....but I bet she would be mighty offended if let's say a Satanist pharmacist at Safeway answered the phone
"Thanks for calling Safeway pharmacy, Damian speaking, Hail Satan!!!!".
"But Ren", you say, "there's a difference".... Um....no, actually...there isn't. Or, since I don't know any satanic pharmacists personally, how bout if the phone was answered "Assalam alaikum". I would bet that the pharmacist greeting non-Muslims like that would most likely receive a complaint at some point. But for some reason it's ok for people to slap me in the side of the head with a "god bless" whenever they feel like it."Sorry to bother you, but....."
For starters. Even if it's 5 minutes to closing, I'm still getting paid to help you out...so don't be sorry. Ask your question and let's all get out of here.
The one exception.... Christmas (or other holidays). Don't tell me how sorry you are that I'm working. If you felt bad about my store being open, you wouldn't be there. Yes, if we weren't open, you couldn't be there.....but if we were open all day and nobody came, we sure as heck wouldn't be open next year. So you're not helping.
"It's a small world"
No, it's not. It's actually pretty big. But for some reason whenever people run into each other it's a small world. For starters, you know too many people. When you start small-worlding cause you ran into your second cousin's ex-wife, you might have a problem. And really, despite there being millions of places to go, people from similar backgrounds with similar experiences (that's why you know them) tend to cluster around the same places. You don't keep running into your old neighbour from Swift Current, Saskatchewan at a Red Lobster in calgary because it's a small world. You keep running into them because both of you have horrible taste in restaurants.
"Just put your John Henry on there"
I think/hope you mean "John Hancock". The guy who signed his name really big on the US declaration of independence, making his name synonymous with signatures. Not John Henry who is well known in american folk songs as a "Steel Driving Man". Of course you wouldn't actually know that since you think Leadbelly is the tummy-ache you get after a couple too many Jagerbombs. I would have to assume that "putting my john henry on there" would actually involve me swinging a sledge hammer through your counter. This could be arranged if you prefer.
"that thing that's going around"
People are always coming in asking for whatever is best for "that thing that's going around". Like there's only 1 disease in all of Calgary at a time. Or they come in, sick and ask if there's "something going around". There's always "something" going around you fool. A whole bunch of things. We had 3 cases of malaria at the hospital here a couple weeks ago....I should have given all these people malaria pills. Or, how bout you tell me how your "thing" is affecting you and we can just treat you and not what you perceive to be the beginning of an epidemic.
Well that's probably enough rage for now. Let me know what you think, or put your own most hated phrases in the comments. Maybe I'll make this an ongoing series.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
My New Favourite TV Show
A few of my friends have come to know me as the guy they count on to introduce them to all kinds of crazy stuff that they maybe wouldn't have found on their own. Sure I'll take suggestions from my friends, but then I feed it through my very particular "Coolness Filter" and only pass the word if it meets my standards. This is unlike your Aunt that just got email and keeps forwarding you email after email of cats doing cute things, and "SUPER EMERGENCY DRUG RECALL WARNINGS" about PPA (which was pulled from the market in Canada about 8 years ago now).
So yeah. Past successes for me, in various mediums
So yeah. I'm sure there are others. But those ones have been a hit with everyone I've shown them to. Now off to my newest find. It's called "No Heroics". It's a sitcom about a group of not very talented superheroes, mostly focusing on their down-time in the pub. It's a bit hard to describe, kinda like all super-cool awesome things. But seriously, check it out. I've been able to find most of the episodes on youtube (in parts) or BitTorrent (intact). It's currently in it's first run on ITV2 in England, and they've only committed to one season (6 episodes). Hopefully they make some more.
Lemme know what you think.
So yeah. Past successes for me, in various mediums
- The Ricky Gervais Show (podcasts)
- Flight of the Conchords (The best Band/TV show/Radio Show out of NZ)
- The World At War (The greatest WWII docu EVER)
- Coupling (Via Matty - thanks....like Friends...but not shitty)
So yeah. I'm sure there are others. But those ones have been a hit with everyone I've shown them to. Now off to my newest find. It's called "No Heroics". It's a sitcom about a group of not very talented superheroes, mostly focusing on their down-time in the pub. It's a bit hard to describe, kinda like all super-cool awesome things. But seriously, check it out. I've been able to find most of the episodes on youtube (in parts) or BitTorrent (intact). It's currently in it's first run on ITV2 in England, and they've only committed to one season (6 episodes). Hopefully they make some more.
Lemme know what you think.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Learn about people by watching them in their natural habitats
A couple people (ok...one) have asked me why my facebook status (actually from Twitter) reads "Just about had to strangle an old man at Mac's".
Well kids, ol' Ren has got a story for you. Anthropologists have known for years that one of the best ways to learn about a culture is to actually immerse yourself into it. (I learned this by taking an anthropology class in university, not by disguising myself and hanging out with actual anthropologists). Unfortunately they have also found that it is pretty much impossible to observe a culture without affecting it by your presence. For example, strangling the subject. Or giving them small pox. Either of which I probably would have subjected the man at the Macs store to, if only I hadn't been wearing my hospital photo ID around my neck on a lanyard.
"So Ren", you ask, "what exactly did this guy do that has you so upset?". Well, let me tell you. A couple work-friends and myself headed over to Mac's to grab a snack during our coffee break. We collected our poisons of choice and got in line. There was a bit of a line-up with a father-son team at the front, followed by an old man with a walker and an old woman with one of those strollers for dogs that should have never been bred. I think it even had a cat in it. I'm not sure what is weirder, taking your cat for a walk in a stroller, or owning a dog that needs to get carried everywhere.
So yeah, it turns out the old man and old woman were together, so the line wasn't really that bad. Especially for them, since they were second in line. However this apparently wasn't quick enough for gramps so he demanded that the man in front of him hurry up and move so he could put his purchases on the counter. This is barely acceptable under any circumstances, for one, you ask, you don't just tell someone to hurry up and move. And also it's not like the man actually could move.... he was RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS TRANSACTION WITH THE FUCKING CASHIER!!! Yes. Not only did this old piece of shit man tell off a guy in front of his teen-aged son, but he did it for nothing. The dude was waiting for his change. I mean, yeah...you're in a hurry....you're gonna die a whole lot sooner than the rest of us, since you're so old, and you apparently have some anger management issues which I've been told don't help to extend your life much. But chill the fuck out.
So dad kinda tells him off right back, and old dude heaves him another heap of incoherent bullshit. So dad tells him he's just going to have to wait his turn, since he's not leaving without finishing his purchase, and the old dude starts ranting to his wife. While he complains about "the nerve of some people" and my work friends and I watch the father-son team leave the store, a woman strolls up to the cashier and makes a purchase, jumping over the entire line-up. Old grumpy pants finally turns and even though I'm sure it would be impossible for him not to notice that there is a different person in front of him than before, says nothing. What the hell. I think it's time for a dose adjustment.
So finally it's his turn and he starts unloading grocery items from his walker onto the counter. The cashier simply asks him "are you sure you have money this time?". I love it. In one simple statement the cashier lets us all know that this nut-job is not only senile, but on social assistance as well. Fantastic. So since I have nothing else to do I look at what the guy is buying. Milk, eggs, bread....etc. All groceries. You know....the kind of stuff that you get from a grocery store, because convenience stores charge waaaaaay too much for them. Oh but this guy doesn't need to price-watch, I can tell by his scruffy beard and worn-out jogging pants that he is incredibly successful and just doesn't need to fuss over the nickels and dimes like us regular working-folk. I mean, I've picked up a jug of milk at the convenience store more than a few times. Sometimes it's just easier or quicker, or on-the-way, or whatever. But who actually does their grocery shopping there?
Oh yeah, people on social assistance, and other folks who damn-well can't afford to. I mean, everyone has to make a trip to 7/11 or whatever for the necessities every now and then, but if you're ever there while someone seems to be doing their entire weekly shopping trip you can bet they're not wearing a suit. Heck, they're probably not even wearing clean clothes. Nope, for some reason the people that you see paying twice as much for the essentials are the ones who can barely afford the essentials at regular price. I would not be surprised if the same type of bad decision making that leads to doing your main grocery shopping at Mac's is the same type of decision making that led to you being on the receiving end of my tax dollars in the first place.
So yeah, the cashier gets done scanning and bagging everything and the dude pays. Then he loads his bags back into his walker. Then he stands and chats with his wife about what they're going to do next. Notice I didn't say anything about him actually moving away from the counter. The cashier gestures to me to pass my drinks over the side of the till to him so he can start ringing me through. I quip "yeah, I guess I'll just pass these over, rather than yelling at the people in front of me, hey...". I complete my entire transaction with gramps and wifey still in the way. "But Ren," you say, "cut them some slack, they're old and slow". I say they forfeited their right to any slack when they told off some dude for nothing (in front of his fucking kid), and then proceed to do exactly what they accused him of.
Old folks always talk about how young people "have no respect". Yeah...no shit. Where do you think they learned it. Oh sure, their grandparents might be sweet as pie. But it's not hard to get the wrong idea about the aged when you go into the Mac's store with your dad to get a slurpee and he gets told off for no fucking reason. Gee. I bet that kid is gonna head right down to the nursing home and read some books out loud for some of the old biddies.
Maybe the reason anthropologist have so much trouble observing without intervening is because they have to see stupid shit like this. I just wish I didn't have my ID on display. I'm sure it's too late to teach that old dog some new tricks so strangling probably wouldn't have helped. I guess it would have had to be small pox.
Well kids, ol' Ren has got a story for you. Anthropologists have known for years that one of the best ways to learn about a culture is to actually immerse yourself into it. (I learned this by taking an anthropology class in university, not by disguising myself and hanging out with actual anthropologists). Unfortunately they have also found that it is pretty much impossible to observe a culture without affecting it by your presence. For example, strangling the subject. Or giving them small pox. Either of which I probably would have subjected the man at the Macs store to, if only I hadn't been wearing my hospital photo ID around my neck on a lanyard.
"So Ren", you ask, "what exactly did this guy do that has you so upset?". Well, let me tell you. A couple work-friends and myself headed over to Mac's to grab a snack during our coffee break. We collected our poisons of choice and got in line. There was a bit of a line-up with a father-son team at the front, followed by an old man with a walker and an old woman with one of those strollers for dogs that should have never been bred. I think it even had a cat in it. I'm not sure what is weirder, taking your cat for a walk in a stroller, or owning a dog that needs to get carried everywhere.
So yeah, it turns out the old man and old woman were together, so the line wasn't really that bad. Especially for them, since they were second in line. However this apparently wasn't quick enough for gramps so he demanded that the man in front of him hurry up and move so he could put his purchases on the counter. This is barely acceptable under any circumstances, for one, you ask, you don't just tell someone to hurry up and move. And also it's not like the man actually could move.... he was RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS TRANSACTION WITH THE FUCKING CASHIER!!! Yes. Not only did this old piece of shit man tell off a guy in front of his teen-aged son, but he did it for nothing. The dude was waiting for his change. I mean, yeah...you're in a hurry....you're gonna die a whole lot sooner than the rest of us, since you're so old, and you apparently have some anger management issues which I've been told don't help to extend your life much. But chill the fuck out.
So dad kinda tells him off right back, and old dude heaves him another heap of incoherent bullshit. So dad tells him he's just going to have to wait his turn, since he's not leaving without finishing his purchase, and the old dude starts ranting to his wife. While he complains about "the nerve of some people" and my work friends and I watch the father-son team leave the store, a woman strolls up to the cashier and makes a purchase, jumping over the entire line-up. Old grumpy pants finally turns and even though I'm sure it would be impossible for him not to notice that there is a different person in front of him than before, says nothing. What the hell. I think it's time for a dose adjustment.
So finally it's his turn and he starts unloading grocery items from his walker onto the counter. The cashier simply asks him "are you sure you have money this time?". I love it. In one simple statement the cashier lets us all know that this nut-job is not only senile, but on social assistance as well. Fantastic. So since I have nothing else to do I look at what the guy is buying. Milk, eggs, bread....etc. All groceries. You know....the kind of stuff that you get from a grocery store, because convenience stores charge waaaaaay too much for them. Oh but this guy doesn't need to price-watch, I can tell by his scruffy beard and worn-out jogging pants that he is incredibly successful and just doesn't need to fuss over the nickels and dimes like us regular working-folk. I mean, I've picked up a jug of milk at the convenience store more than a few times. Sometimes it's just easier or quicker, or on-the-way, or whatever. But who actually does their grocery shopping there?
Oh yeah, people on social assistance, and other folks who damn-well can't afford to. I mean, everyone has to make a trip to 7/11 or whatever for the necessities every now and then, but if you're ever there while someone seems to be doing their entire weekly shopping trip you can bet they're not wearing a suit. Heck, they're probably not even wearing clean clothes. Nope, for some reason the people that you see paying twice as much for the essentials are the ones who can barely afford the essentials at regular price. I would not be surprised if the same type of bad decision making that leads to doing your main grocery shopping at Mac's is the same type of decision making that led to you being on the receiving end of my tax dollars in the first place.
So yeah, the cashier gets done scanning and bagging everything and the dude pays. Then he loads his bags back into his walker. Then he stands and chats with his wife about what they're going to do next. Notice I didn't say anything about him actually moving away from the counter. The cashier gestures to me to pass my drinks over the side of the till to him so he can start ringing me through. I quip "yeah, I guess I'll just pass these over, rather than yelling at the people in front of me, hey...". I complete my entire transaction with gramps and wifey still in the way. "But Ren," you say, "cut them some slack, they're old and slow". I say they forfeited their right to any slack when they told off some dude for nothing (in front of his fucking kid), and then proceed to do exactly what they accused him of.
Old folks always talk about how young people "have no respect". Yeah...no shit. Where do you think they learned it. Oh sure, their grandparents might be sweet as pie. But it's not hard to get the wrong idea about the aged when you go into the Mac's store with your dad to get a slurpee and he gets told off for no fucking reason. Gee. I bet that kid is gonna head right down to the nursing home and read some books out loud for some of the old biddies.
Maybe the reason anthropologist have so much trouble observing without intervening is because they have to see stupid shit like this. I just wish I didn't have my ID on display. I'm sure it's too late to teach that old dog some new tricks so strangling probably wouldn't have helped. I guess it would have had to be small pox.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
