Lip chap.
"What!!???!!!" you say? "That's not really a phrase, hell....I've never heard that"
Really? Do you not hang out with any 15-30 year old females? Well I feel sorry for you. I however seem to have surrounded myself with this sub-species, and have found this to be a common incorrectly used expression, especially in winter.
An example....
"It's so dry in here, does anyone have any lip chap I can borrow???"
Um....sure, let me just scrape some of the dry chappy skin off of my lips and give it to you....and as far as borrowing it goes....don't worry about it. You can keep it.
The problem is called lip chap.....well...not really even....but for a 15-30 year old female we'll let that slide. The solution to the problem is called chap stick. Or lip gloss. Or blistex. Or....well.....whatever....you get the idea.
Why would you ask for the problem itself when you're actually looking for the solution to the problem?
When you head to the pharmacy wanting your birth controldo you ask the pharmacist "can you help me get an unwanted pregnancy?"
When you go to the garage, and you need an oil change do you ask for a seized engine?
When you're feeling kinda hungry do you head down to the restaurant and ask for a starving Ethiopian fly-baby?
So.....why do people ask for lip chap when they're wanting something for chapped lips?
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Damn Sorcerers!!!!
Original article here
I have absolutely nothing to add to this....it pretty much works on its own.
KINSHASA, April 22 (Reuters Life!) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.
Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.
Rumours of penis theft began circulating last week in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo's sprawling capital of some 8 million inhabitants. They quickly dominated radio call-in shows, with listeners advised to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.
Purported victims, 14 of whom were also detained by police, claimed that sorcerers simply touched them to make their genitals shrink or disappear, in what some residents said was an attempt to extort cash with the promise of a cure.
"You just have to be accused of that, and people come after you. We've had a number of attempted lynchings. ... You see them covered in marks after being beaten," Kinshasa's police chief, Jean-Dieudonne Oleko, told Reuters on Tuesday.
Police arrested the accused sorcerers and their victims in an effort to avoid the sort of bloodshed seen in Ghana a decade ago, when 12 suspected penis snatchers were beaten to death by angry mobs. The 27 men have since been released.
"I'm tempted to say it's one huge joke," Oleko said.
"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.
Some Kinshasa residents accuse a separatist sect from nearby Bas-Congo province of being behind the witchcraft in revenge for a recent government crackdown on its members.
"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station. (For full Reuters Africa coverage and to have your say on the top issues, visit: http://africa.reuters.com/ ) (Editing by Nick Tattersall and Mary Gabriel)
Monday, December 8, 2008
Body Awareness
Hey boy's and girls!!!1!!! I'm here today to talk (rant) to you about "body awareness". Now I'm not talking about some kind of crazy metaphysical philosophy thing. And I'm sure as hell not talking about that thing where grotesquely obese women check out their genitals in a mirror to confirm their womanly beauty. Ew. Nope....I'm just talking about good old regular body awareness: being aware of where the hell you are putting that meat-bag your brain drives around in.
Do you have a friend or colleague that when you're out in public with always seems to be getting bumped into, or disrupting the flow of traffic around them? If yes, then you're probably fine.
If no.....then you're probably that guy!!! Do you often find yourself just going about your day, minding your own business when ka-pow! someone just plows into you? This might be because you have poor body awareness. Some people just seem to lack this unconscious talent. I'm pretty sure it can't be taught, but maybe with practice you can learn how not to be the equivalent of a blind man trying to cross a NASCAR track.
So yeah, in the end, this post is coming down to a lesson in how to walk properly....but as the Christmas rush gets more and more intense, you're going to see bigger crowds and more and more people having trouble negotiating them.
The most important thing; pay attention to what is going on around you!
For starters....I know there's no law about this, but generally in Canada, walk on the right hand side of things. Hallways, doorways, sidewalks etc. If you just step back a bit and watch, most of the people are walking down their respective right-hand sides, with a few faster walkers passing in the middle space. Works pretty well. At least it does until someone starts going up the left side against the flow. Whether they're British (watch...they walk on the left....) or just not paying attention, they will try to plow their way up the "wrong" side and create chaos in their wake. Like I said, there is no "law", and getting bumped into by a person on the wrong side of things is certainly better than getting hit by a car on the wrong side of the road, but it sure goes better when people are on the same page.
Also, if you're walking down a narrow hallway or sidewalk that is only wide enough for two people, don't walk right down the middle when people are trying to walk past you (in either direction). And if you're walking down said sidewalk/hallway with a friend, side by side.....and someone needs to get by....you're going to have to move to single-file, or move one of you onto the grass. Do not expect the person coming towards you to move....it would be a safer bet to expect them to lower their shoulder and try to hit you right on the chin with it.
And when you're walking somewhere crowded. Don't suddenly stop. I don't care how amazing the bargains are in the store across the hall, if you go from 60-0 in one step, someone is probably going to hit you right in the centre of the back. If you need to stop in a bit of a crowd, just angle off to the side, and you should be able to get out of the fast-moving stuff and stop. It's not that hard. And if for some reason you have stopped in a fast-moving crowd.....whatever you do, don't back up or move straight sideways under any circumstances. Even before you start walking forward again it's a good idea to take a quick look over your shoulder. Once you stop moving, the crowd will basically treat you like a lamp-post. Nobody worries too much about invading the personal space of a lamp-post, so the will walk a whole lot closer to you than if you were moving and there's a high possibility of a collision if you just start out again without looking.
One more thing. Especially during Christmas, you have to also be aware of where your stuff is. Pushing a shopping cart or stroller....carrying a pile of shopping bags? Don't forget to make room for these. Sure you can squeeze down that skinny aisle normally, but you've just doubled your width with those gigantor toys-r-us bags.... think about it. And if you're standing and looking at something on the left-hand side of a shop aisle....don't park your cart/stroller right beside you on the right-hand side. I personally have no qualms against arriving at your cart, taking hold of the handle and motoring off around the corner with it. However, I have no desire to posess your child, or a defend a felony kidnapping charge....so please.....don't block the entire aisle by yourself.
Do you have a friend or colleague that when you're out in public with always seems to be getting bumped into, or disrupting the flow of traffic around them? If yes, then you're probably fine.
If no.....then you're probably that guy!!! Do you often find yourself just going about your day, minding your own business when ka-pow! someone just plows into you? This might be because you have poor body awareness. Some people just seem to lack this unconscious talent. I'm pretty sure it can't be taught, but maybe with practice you can learn how not to be the equivalent of a blind man trying to cross a NASCAR track.
So yeah, in the end, this post is coming down to a lesson in how to walk properly....but as the Christmas rush gets more and more intense, you're going to see bigger crowds and more and more people having trouble negotiating them.
The most important thing; pay attention to what is going on around you!
For starters....I know there's no law about this, but generally in Canada, walk on the right hand side of things. Hallways, doorways, sidewalks etc. If you just step back a bit and watch, most of the people are walking down their respective right-hand sides, with a few faster walkers passing in the middle space. Works pretty well. At least it does until someone starts going up the left side against the flow. Whether they're British (watch...they walk on the left....) or just not paying attention, they will try to plow their way up the "wrong" side and create chaos in their wake. Like I said, there is no "law", and getting bumped into by a person on the wrong side of things is certainly better than getting hit by a car on the wrong side of the road, but it sure goes better when people are on the same page.
Also, if you're walking down a narrow hallway or sidewalk that is only wide enough for two people, don't walk right down the middle when people are trying to walk past you (in either direction). And if you're walking down said sidewalk/hallway with a friend, side by side.....and someone needs to get by....you're going to have to move to single-file, or move one of you onto the grass. Do not expect the person coming towards you to move....it would be a safer bet to expect them to lower their shoulder and try to hit you right on the chin with it.
And when you're walking somewhere crowded. Don't suddenly stop. I don't care how amazing the bargains are in the store across the hall, if you go from 60-0 in one step, someone is probably going to hit you right in the centre of the back. If you need to stop in a bit of a crowd, just angle off to the side, and you should be able to get out of the fast-moving stuff and stop. It's not that hard. And if for some reason you have stopped in a fast-moving crowd.....whatever you do, don't back up or move straight sideways under any circumstances. Even before you start walking forward again it's a good idea to take a quick look over your shoulder. Once you stop moving, the crowd will basically treat you like a lamp-post. Nobody worries too much about invading the personal space of a lamp-post, so the will walk a whole lot closer to you than if you were moving and there's a high possibility of a collision if you just start out again without looking.
One more thing. Especially during Christmas, you have to also be aware of where your stuff is. Pushing a shopping cart or stroller....carrying a pile of shopping bags? Don't forget to make room for these. Sure you can squeeze down that skinny aisle normally, but you've just doubled your width with those gigantor toys-r-us bags.... think about it. And if you're standing and looking at something on the left-hand side of a shop aisle....don't park your cart/stroller right beside you on the right-hand side. I personally have no qualms against arriving at your cart, taking hold of the handle and motoring off around the corner with it. However, I have no desire to posess your child, or a defend a felony kidnapping charge....so please.....don't block the entire aisle by yourself.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
4 New reviews
So....just for the people who check this site more often than they do the main page. There are 4 new curry reviews up......
Samosa Express
Mughals
Moti Mahal/Copper Chimney South
Rasoi
Happy reading!!!!
Also, be Dodgy Curry's friend on facebook.... or join our Facebook group
Samosa Express
Mughals
Moti Mahal/Copper Chimney South
Rasoi
Happy reading!!!!
Also, be Dodgy Curry's friend on facebook.... or join our Facebook group
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Fun with telemarketers.
I just lost my cool (ok...i know...I never had any cool to lose.....but i can't think of another applicable expression).....on a telemarketer (actually a survey pimp....but whatever). I can't decide if it was funny or if I should be ashamed. I've just really gotten fed up with them....seems like they are the only "people" who call me anymore.
I really should have canceled my landline when I moved here. I sometimes use it for outgoing calls cause the phone itself is a bit easier to hold.....but I really don't make calls very often. As any of my friends know about 90% of my communication is done through text messages. My mom is pretty much the only person I ever want to talk to who calls my home number. Everyone else has my mobile. Much easier.
So yeah....I've been giving telemarket-whores a hard time for a while. Generally I'm respectful, but I don't appreciate their calls and I let them know. If they are polite to me I simply thank them for calling because it makes my decision to go with their competitor who has never bothered me at home that much easier. That usually get's a pretty good reaction. If they are rude, I'm equally rude. If they interrupt me....I mash the keypad and hang up. Pretty simple.
Even worse than the telemarketers, are the survey people. Every time you try to tell them you don't want to play their game, they repeat the same mantra "but sir, we're not selling anything". I don't care. I don't want you to harrass me. I've finally discovered a pretty quick strategy for respectfully getting rid of them. As soon as they say it's a survey I cut in and ask if I will be getting compensated for my answers. At least half the time they have to ask me what I mean.
I know people who will sit there and talk to them for ages. Ask them about the weather, how their kids are doing....blah blah blah. I guess the thought is that time is money and if you waste their time you cost them money. I'll admit that I've never bothered to look it up, but I'm pretty sure a pharmacist gets paid a bit more than a telemarketer....therefore, not worth my time. Also, I generally can't stand small talk with real humans, so why would I waste my witty banter on some faceless, spineless, bloodsucker?
So yeah....I'm not really sure what got into me tonight....but when my phone rang and it was one of those out of province numbers that just look wrong....I decided to take action. It was about 9:15pm and I remember when I was a kid, my parents would always go ballistic when our friends called after 9.....so I quickly decided on my technique.
Me - "Hello (pause....pause....pause...now annoyed...) Hello?"
TM - "Hello?" (why do they always sound surprised....like i called them or something....?)
Me - "Hi!" (....extra-special annoyed voice)
TM - "Good evening, I'm so-and-so calling from Shit-for-brains marketing....."
Me - "Excuse me! Are you seriously calling me after 9 at night for a survey?"
TM - (oblivious) "Yes sir, we're not trying to sell you anything, we're a marketing firm and we'd just like to ask you a few questions, it will only take about 15minutes"
Me - "You stupid bitch, I've got kids that are trying to sleep and you're ringing my phone in the middle of the night on a school night....don't ever call this number again!"
TM - "Er....um....."
(i hang up)
So yeah....pretty much a lie. The puppies were actually asleep....but they don't go to school in the morning. And I probably shouldn't have called her a bitch. But it was kinda fun too. So....I guess it balances out.
I really should have canceled my landline when I moved here. I sometimes use it for outgoing calls cause the phone itself is a bit easier to hold.....but I really don't make calls very often. As any of my friends know about 90% of my communication is done through text messages. My mom is pretty much the only person I ever want to talk to who calls my home number. Everyone else has my mobile. Much easier.
So yeah....I've been giving telemarket-whores a hard time for a while. Generally I'm respectful, but I don't appreciate their calls and I let them know. If they are polite to me I simply thank them for calling because it makes my decision to go with their competitor who has never bothered me at home that much easier. That usually get's a pretty good reaction. If they are rude, I'm equally rude. If they interrupt me....I mash the keypad and hang up. Pretty simple.
Even worse than the telemarketers, are the survey people. Every time you try to tell them you don't want to play their game, they repeat the same mantra "but sir, we're not selling anything". I don't care. I don't want you to harrass me. I've finally discovered a pretty quick strategy for respectfully getting rid of them. As soon as they say it's a survey I cut in and ask if I will be getting compensated for my answers. At least half the time they have to ask me what I mean.
Me - "I mean that I believe that my opinions are valuable and that I should be compensated with cash for sharing them with you. Are you paying me for my answers?" That's when they say "no" and I say, well call me when you're paying. Of course they still call the next day...and the next day....but it makes it quick....and it's gotta be at least a little frustrating for them.
I know people who will sit there and talk to them for ages. Ask them about the weather, how their kids are doing....blah blah blah. I guess the thought is that time is money and if you waste their time you cost them money. I'll admit that I've never bothered to look it up, but I'm pretty sure a pharmacist gets paid a bit more than a telemarketer....therefore, not worth my time. Also, I generally can't stand small talk with real humans, so why would I waste my witty banter on some faceless, spineless, bloodsucker?
So yeah....I'm not really sure what got into me tonight....but when my phone rang and it was one of those out of province numbers that just look wrong....I decided to take action. It was about 9:15pm and I remember when I was a kid, my parents would always go ballistic when our friends called after 9.....so I quickly decided on my technique.
Me - "Hello (pause....pause....pause...now annoyed...) Hello?"
TM - "Hello?" (why do they always sound surprised....like i called them or something....?)
Me - "Hi!" (....extra-special annoyed voice)
TM - "Good evening, I'm so-and-so calling from Shit-for-brains marketing....."
Me - "Excuse me! Are you seriously calling me after 9 at night for a survey?"
TM - (oblivious) "Yes sir, we're not trying to sell you anything, we're a marketing firm and we'd just like to ask you a few questions, it will only take about 15minutes"
Me - "You stupid bitch, I've got kids that are trying to sleep and you're ringing my phone in the middle of the night on a school night....don't ever call this number again!"
TM - "Er....um....."
(i hang up)
So yeah....pretty much a lie. The puppies were actually asleep....but they don't go to school in the morning. And I probably shouldn't have called her a bitch. But it was kinda fun too. So....I guess it balances out.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
A couple more phrases.
OMG!!! The Angriest Pharmacist posted a comment on my blog!!!! That's so cool. It's like....finding out your buddy used to have Bobby Orr as a hockey coach cause he was on the same team as his kid..... or like finding out that your mom's best friend that's always over at her house for tea used to shag Warren Beatty..... or like finding out that you are eating in the same restaurant that Ren & Matt were just at for a review. I'm just gonna sit back and wait for the moderately hot pharmacy ladies to head my way to bask in my internet awesomness.
Ok....just havin a laugh. But he did have a good post the other day that reminded me of two more phrases to add to my list.
http://www.theangriestpharmacist.com/2008/10/24/have-a-nice-day/
"Have a nice day" - Like TAestP I refused to use this one. I really didn't care if 90% of the people I rang through the cash actually had a "nice day" or if it was crap. There would be the occasional regular that I like that I'd say this to and mean it. But if I don't know your name without looking at your prescription.......or if I know your name because you've done your part to blacken my little corner of the world by being an asshole (funny how we remember these ones so vividly)....I'm not going to say it....just "thanks.....bye".
"How's it going?" I'll admit to using this one among friends or even coworkers. Sometimes I actually do care how it's going. And if they ask me....I might even say something other than "fine....how are you?"if that is actually the case. But when some person (store clerk or customer depending on which side of the counter I'm on) asks me.....I just say "Fine.....thanks" and leave it at that. It's actually pretty funny watching their brains completely malfunction from this variation on the script. About 1/3 of them still reply with their own "I'm good....thanks" and then look confused because they just realized they answered a question that was not asked. Most though have a little more self-control and just go straight to the confused face. I love that confused face.
So thanks for the material TAestP. I'll keep reading
Ok....just havin a laugh. But he did have a good post the other day that reminded me of two more phrases to add to my list.
http://www.theangriestpharmacist.com/2008/10/24/have-a-nice-day/
"Have a nice day" - Like TAestP I refused to use this one. I really didn't care if 90% of the people I rang through the cash actually had a "nice day" or if it was crap. There would be the occasional regular that I like that I'd say this to and mean it. But if I don't know your name without looking at your prescription.......or if I know your name because you've done your part to blacken my little corner of the world by being an asshole (funny how we remember these ones so vividly)....I'm not going to say it....just "thanks.....bye".
"How's it going?" I'll admit to using this one among friends or even coworkers. Sometimes I actually do care how it's going. And if they ask me....I might even say something other than "fine....how are you?"if that is actually the case. But when some person (store clerk or customer depending on which side of the counter I'm on) asks me.....I just say "Fine.....thanks" and leave it at that. It's actually pretty funny watching their brains completely malfunction from this variation on the script. About 1/3 of them still reply with their own "I'm good....thanks" and then look confused because they just realized they answered a question that was not asked. Most though have a little more self-control and just go straight to the confused face. I love that confused face.
So thanks for the material TAestP. I'll keep reading
Friday, October 24, 2008
Phrases that drive me nuts!
I'm sure everyone has a bunch of sayings and expressions that just drive them nuts. Whether they're illogical, nonsensical, redundant, or just too frequently used you just cringe whenever you hear someone use them. As a pharmacist, dealing with the public it seems you get exposed to them at a higher rate than maybe someone who isn't on the front lines with people all day, so here's some of mine.
"God Bless"
I seem to get this one a lot as a mixed thank-you/good-bye at the end of phone consultations. Mostly with old ladies, but the occasional younger person too. Why exactly would I want the blessing of your god? I'm sure they don't mean anything by it....kinda like when old ladies say that the lady down the hall "is really nice even though I think she's chinese"....but still. I'm not "offended" by it, and I'm also not offended by "God" being in the national anthem etc....but I bet she would be mighty offended if let's say a Satanist pharmacist at Safeway answered the phone
"Sorry to bother you, but....."
For starters. Even if it's 5 minutes to closing, I'm still getting paid to help you out...so don't be sorry. Ask your question and let's all get out of here.
The one exception.... Christmas (or other holidays). Don't tell me how sorry you are that I'm working. If you felt bad about my store being open, you wouldn't be there. Yes, if we weren't open, you couldn't be there.....but if we were open all day and nobody came, we sure as heck wouldn't be open next year. So you're not helping.
"It's a small world"
No, it's not. It's actually pretty big. But for some reason whenever people run into each other it's a small world. For starters, you know too many people. When you start small-worlding cause you ran into your second cousin's ex-wife, you might have a problem. And really, despite there being millions of places to go, people from similar backgrounds with similar experiences (that's why you know them) tend to cluster around the same places. You don't keep running into your old neighbour from Swift Current, Saskatchewan at a Red Lobster in calgary because it's a small world. You keep running into them because both of you have horrible taste in restaurants.
"Just put your John Henry on there"
I think/hope you mean "John Hancock". The guy who signed his name really big on the US declaration of independence, making his name synonymous with signatures. Not John Henry who is well known in american folk songs as a "Steel Driving Man". Of course you wouldn't actually know that since you think Leadbelly is the tummy-ache you get after a couple too many Jagerbombs. I would have to assume that "putting my john henry on there" would actually involve me swinging a sledge hammer through your counter. This could be arranged if you prefer.
"that thing that's going around"
People are always coming in asking for whatever is best for "that thing that's going around". Like there's only 1 disease in all of Calgary at a time. Or they come in, sick and ask if there's "something going around". There's always "something" going around you fool. A whole bunch of things. We had 3 cases of malaria at the hospital here a couple weeks ago....I should have given all these people malaria pills. Or, how bout you tell me how your "thing" is affecting you and we can just treat you and not what you perceive to be the beginning of an epidemic.
Well that's probably enough rage for now. Let me know what you think, or put your own most hated phrases in the comments. Maybe I'll make this an ongoing series.
"No problem"
As a reply to "thank you" from a store clerk this one is infuriating. You're right it's "no problem". It's your freaken job. If it is a problem for you to do your job, perhaps you should look into a new one. Oh...you mean you weren't being a jerk? Then the correct response to thank you, is....."You're Welcome!"
Or, in pharmacy when I would tell people their prescription would be 10 minutes or so.... "no problem".... Oh? Should I be expecting a problem when telling people a perfectly reasonable wait time for their drugs? The correct response is "thanks, I'll check back then", rather than what is basically a vague threat that if the time had not have been satisfactory than there would have been a "problem"
"Everything Happens for a Reason"
Yeah....It's called cause and effect. The reason this happened is because you or someone else did something that set the ball rolling and caused it to happen. The reason is not "god's will", "karma" or any of that garbage....although it could be "entropy".
"Can I ask you just a quick question?"
In pharmacy, there is no such thing as a quick question. Unless it's not actually about pharmacy related things, in which case I'd be more annoyed that you wasted 10 seconds of my time on .... toilet paper, watermelon, bus tickets..... than if you'd spent 10 minutes on diabetes questions.
Yeah....It's called cause and effect. The reason this happened is because you or someone else did something that set the ball rolling and caused it to happen. The reason is not "god's will", "karma" or any of that garbage....although it could be "entropy".
"Can I ask you just a quick question?"
In pharmacy, there is no such thing as a quick question. Unless it's not actually about pharmacy related things, in which case I'd be more annoyed that you wasted 10 seconds of my time on .... toilet paper, watermelon, bus tickets..... than if you'd spent 10 minutes on diabetes questions.
"God Bless"
I seem to get this one a lot as a mixed thank-you/good-bye at the end of phone consultations. Mostly with old ladies, but the occasional younger person too. Why exactly would I want the blessing of your god? I'm sure they don't mean anything by it....kinda like when old ladies say that the lady down the hall "is really nice even though I think she's chinese"....but still. I'm not "offended" by it, and I'm also not offended by "God" being in the national anthem etc....but I bet she would be mighty offended if let's say a Satanist pharmacist at Safeway answered the phone
"Thanks for calling Safeway pharmacy, Damian speaking, Hail Satan!!!!".
"But Ren", you say, "there's a difference".... Um....no, actually...there isn't. Or, since I don't know any satanic pharmacists personally, how bout if the phone was answered "Assalam alaikum". I would bet that the pharmacist greeting non-Muslims like that would most likely receive a complaint at some point. But for some reason it's ok for people to slap me in the side of the head with a "god bless" whenever they feel like it."Sorry to bother you, but....."
For starters. Even if it's 5 minutes to closing, I'm still getting paid to help you out...so don't be sorry. Ask your question and let's all get out of here.
The one exception.... Christmas (or other holidays). Don't tell me how sorry you are that I'm working. If you felt bad about my store being open, you wouldn't be there. Yes, if we weren't open, you couldn't be there.....but if we were open all day and nobody came, we sure as heck wouldn't be open next year. So you're not helping.
"It's a small world"
No, it's not. It's actually pretty big. But for some reason whenever people run into each other it's a small world. For starters, you know too many people. When you start small-worlding cause you ran into your second cousin's ex-wife, you might have a problem. And really, despite there being millions of places to go, people from similar backgrounds with similar experiences (that's why you know them) tend to cluster around the same places. You don't keep running into your old neighbour from Swift Current, Saskatchewan at a Red Lobster in calgary because it's a small world. You keep running into them because both of you have horrible taste in restaurants.
"Just put your John Henry on there"
I think/hope you mean "John Hancock". The guy who signed his name really big on the US declaration of independence, making his name synonymous with signatures. Not John Henry who is well known in american folk songs as a "Steel Driving Man". Of course you wouldn't actually know that since you think Leadbelly is the tummy-ache you get after a couple too many Jagerbombs. I would have to assume that "putting my john henry on there" would actually involve me swinging a sledge hammer through your counter. This could be arranged if you prefer.
"that thing that's going around"
People are always coming in asking for whatever is best for "that thing that's going around". Like there's only 1 disease in all of Calgary at a time. Or they come in, sick and ask if there's "something going around". There's always "something" going around you fool. A whole bunch of things. We had 3 cases of malaria at the hospital here a couple weeks ago....I should have given all these people malaria pills. Or, how bout you tell me how your "thing" is affecting you and we can just treat you and not what you perceive to be the beginning of an epidemic.
Well that's probably enough rage for now. Let me know what you think, or put your own most hated phrases in the comments. Maybe I'll make this an ongoing series.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
My New Favourite TV Show
A few of my friends have come to know me as the guy they count on to introduce them to all kinds of crazy stuff that they maybe wouldn't have found on their own. Sure I'll take suggestions from my friends, but then I feed it through my very particular "Coolness Filter" and only pass the word if it meets my standards. This is unlike your Aunt that just got email and keeps forwarding you email after email of cats doing cute things, and "SUPER EMERGENCY DRUG RECALL WARNINGS" about PPA (which was pulled from the market in Canada about 8 years ago now).
So yeah. Past successes for me, in various mediums
So yeah. I'm sure there are others. But those ones have been a hit with everyone I've shown them to. Now off to my newest find. It's called "No Heroics". It's a sitcom about a group of not very talented superheroes, mostly focusing on their down-time in the pub. It's a bit hard to describe, kinda like all super-cool awesome things. But seriously, check it out. I've been able to find most of the episodes on youtube (in parts) or BitTorrent (intact). It's currently in it's first run on ITV2 in England, and they've only committed to one season (6 episodes). Hopefully they make some more.
Lemme know what you think.
So yeah. Past successes for me, in various mediums
- The Ricky Gervais Show (podcasts)
- Flight of the Conchords (The best Band/TV show/Radio Show out of NZ)
- The World At War (The greatest WWII docu EVER)
- Coupling (Via Matty - thanks....like Friends...but not shitty)
So yeah. I'm sure there are others. But those ones have been a hit with everyone I've shown them to. Now off to my newest find. It's called "No Heroics". It's a sitcom about a group of not very talented superheroes, mostly focusing on their down-time in the pub. It's a bit hard to describe, kinda like all super-cool awesome things. But seriously, check it out. I've been able to find most of the episodes on youtube (in parts) or BitTorrent (intact). It's currently in it's first run on ITV2 in England, and they've only committed to one season (6 episodes). Hopefully they make some more.
Lemme know what you think.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Learn about people by watching them in their natural habitats
A couple people (ok...one) have asked me why my facebook status (actually from Twitter) reads "Just about had to strangle an old man at Mac's".
Well kids, ol' Ren has got a story for you. Anthropologists have known for years that one of the best ways to learn about a culture is to actually immerse yourself into it. (I learned this by taking an anthropology class in university, not by disguising myself and hanging out with actual anthropologists). Unfortunately they have also found that it is pretty much impossible to observe a culture without affecting it by your presence. For example, strangling the subject. Or giving them small pox. Either of which I probably would have subjected the man at the Macs store to, if only I hadn't been wearing my hospital photo ID around my neck on a lanyard.
"So Ren", you ask, "what exactly did this guy do that has you so upset?". Well, let me tell you. A couple work-friends and myself headed over to Mac's to grab a snack during our coffee break. We collected our poisons of choice and got in line. There was a bit of a line-up with a father-son team at the front, followed by an old man with a walker and an old woman with one of those strollers for dogs that should have never been bred. I think it even had a cat in it. I'm not sure what is weirder, taking your cat for a walk in a stroller, or owning a dog that needs to get carried everywhere.
So yeah, it turns out the old man and old woman were together, so the line wasn't really that bad. Especially for them, since they were second in line. However this apparently wasn't quick enough for gramps so he demanded that the man in front of him hurry up and move so he could put his purchases on the counter. This is barely acceptable under any circumstances, for one, you ask, you don't just tell someone to hurry up and move. And also it's not like the man actually could move.... he was RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS TRANSACTION WITH THE FUCKING CASHIER!!! Yes. Not only did this old piece of shit man tell off a guy in front of his teen-aged son, but he did it for nothing. The dude was waiting for his change. I mean, yeah...you're in a hurry....you're gonna die a whole lot sooner than the rest of us, since you're so old, and you apparently have some anger management issues which I've been told don't help to extend your life much. But chill the fuck out.
So dad kinda tells him off right back, and old dude heaves him another heap of incoherent bullshit. So dad tells him he's just going to have to wait his turn, since he's not leaving without finishing his purchase, and the old dude starts ranting to his wife. While he complains about "the nerve of some people" and my work friends and I watch the father-son team leave the store, a woman strolls up to the cashier and makes a purchase, jumping over the entire line-up. Old grumpy pants finally turns and even though I'm sure it would be impossible for him not to notice that there is a different person in front of him than before, says nothing. What the hell. I think it's time for a dose adjustment.
So finally it's his turn and he starts unloading grocery items from his walker onto the counter. The cashier simply asks him "are you sure you have money this time?". I love it. In one simple statement the cashier lets us all know that this nut-job is not only senile, but on social assistance as well. Fantastic. So since I have nothing else to do I look at what the guy is buying. Milk, eggs, bread....etc. All groceries. You know....the kind of stuff that you get from a grocery store, because convenience stores charge waaaaaay too much for them. Oh but this guy doesn't need to price-watch, I can tell by his scruffy beard and worn-out jogging pants that he is incredibly successful and just doesn't need to fuss over the nickels and dimes like us regular working-folk. I mean, I've picked up a jug of milk at the convenience store more than a few times. Sometimes it's just easier or quicker, or on-the-way, or whatever. But who actually does their grocery shopping there?
Oh yeah, people on social assistance, and other folks who damn-well can't afford to. I mean, everyone has to make a trip to 7/11 or whatever for the necessities every now and then, but if you're ever there while someone seems to be doing their entire weekly shopping trip you can bet they're not wearing a suit. Heck, they're probably not even wearing clean clothes. Nope, for some reason the people that you see paying twice as much for the essentials are the ones who can barely afford the essentials at regular price. I would not be surprised if the same type of bad decision making that leads to doing your main grocery shopping at Mac's is the same type of decision making that led to you being on the receiving end of my tax dollars in the first place.
So yeah, the cashier gets done scanning and bagging everything and the dude pays. Then he loads his bags back into his walker. Then he stands and chats with his wife about what they're going to do next. Notice I didn't say anything about him actually moving away from the counter. The cashier gestures to me to pass my drinks over the side of the till to him so he can start ringing me through. I quip "yeah, I guess I'll just pass these over, rather than yelling at the people in front of me, hey...". I complete my entire transaction with gramps and wifey still in the way. "But Ren," you say, "cut them some slack, they're old and slow". I say they forfeited their right to any slack when they told off some dude for nothing (in front of his fucking kid), and then proceed to do exactly what they accused him of.
Old folks always talk about how young people "have no respect". Yeah...no shit. Where do you think they learned it. Oh sure, their grandparents might be sweet as pie. But it's not hard to get the wrong idea about the aged when you go into the Mac's store with your dad to get a slurpee and he gets told off for no fucking reason. Gee. I bet that kid is gonna head right down to the nursing home and read some books out loud for some of the old biddies.
Maybe the reason anthropologist have so much trouble observing without intervening is because they have to see stupid shit like this. I just wish I didn't have my ID on display. I'm sure it's too late to teach that old dog some new tricks so strangling probably wouldn't have helped. I guess it would have had to be small pox.
Well kids, ol' Ren has got a story for you. Anthropologists have known for years that one of the best ways to learn about a culture is to actually immerse yourself into it. (I learned this by taking an anthropology class in university, not by disguising myself and hanging out with actual anthropologists). Unfortunately they have also found that it is pretty much impossible to observe a culture without affecting it by your presence. For example, strangling the subject. Or giving them small pox. Either of which I probably would have subjected the man at the Macs store to, if only I hadn't been wearing my hospital photo ID around my neck on a lanyard.
"So Ren", you ask, "what exactly did this guy do that has you so upset?". Well, let me tell you. A couple work-friends and myself headed over to Mac's to grab a snack during our coffee break. We collected our poisons of choice and got in line. There was a bit of a line-up with a father-son team at the front, followed by an old man with a walker and an old woman with one of those strollers for dogs that should have never been bred. I think it even had a cat in it. I'm not sure what is weirder, taking your cat for a walk in a stroller, or owning a dog that needs to get carried everywhere.
So yeah, it turns out the old man and old woman were together, so the line wasn't really that bad. Especially for them, since they were second in line. However this apparently wasn't quick enough for gramps so he demanded that the man in front of him hurry up and move so he could put his purchases on the counter. This is barely acceptable under any circumstances, for one, you ask, you don't just tell someone to hurry up and move. And also it's not like the man actually could move.... he was RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS TRANSACTION WITH THE FUCKING CASHIER!!! Yes. Not only did this old piece of shit man tell off a guy in front of his teen-aged son, but he did it for nothing. The dude was waiting for his change. I mean, yeah...you're in a hurry....you're gonna die a whole lot sooner than the rest of us, since you're so old, and you apparently have some anger management issues which I've been told don't help to extend your life much. But chill the fuck out.
So dad kinda tells him off right back, and old dude heaves him another heap of incoherent bullshit. So dad tells him he's just going to have to wait his turn, since he's not leaving without finishing his purchase, and the old dude starts ranting to his wife. While he complains about "the nerve of some people" and my work friends and I watch the father-son team leave the store, a woman strolls up to the cashier and makes a purchase, jumping over the entire line-up. Old grumpy pants finally turns and even though I'm sure it would be impossible for him not to notice that there is a different person in front of him than before, says nothing. What the hell. I think it's time for a dose adjustment.
So finally it's his turn and he starts unloading grocery items from his walker onto the counter. The cashier simply asks him "are you sure you have money this time?". I love it. In one simple statement the cashier lets us all know that this nut-job is not only senile, but on social assistance as well. Fantastic. So since I have nothing else to do I look at what the guy is buying. Milk, eggs, bread....etc. All groceries. You know....the kind of stuff that you get from a grocery store, because convenience stores charge waaaaaay too much for them. Oh but this guy doesn't need to price-watch, I can tell by his scruffy beard and worn-out jogging pants that he is incredibly successful and just doesn't need to fuss over the nickels and dimes like us regular working-folk. I mean, I've picked up a jug of milk at the convenience store more than a few times. Sometimes it's just easier or quicker, or on-the-way, or whatever. But who actually does their grocery shopping there?
Oh yeah, people on social assistance, and other folks who damn-well can't afford to. I mean, everyone has to make a trip to 7/11 or whatever for the necessities every now and then, but if you're ever there while someone seems to be doing their entire weekly shopping trip you can bet they're not wearing a suit. Heck, they're probably not even wearing clean clothes. Nope, for some reason the people that you see paying twice as much for the essentials are the ones who can barely afford the essentials at regular price. I would not be surprised if the same type of bad decision making that leads to doing your main grocery shopping at Mac's is the same type of decision making that led to you being on the receiving end of my tax dollars in the first place.
So yeah, the cashier gets done scanning and bagging everything and the dude pays. Then he loads his bags back into his walker. Then he stands and chats with his wife about what they're going to do next. Notice I didn't say anything about him actually moving away from the counter. The cashier gestures to me to pass my drinks over the side of the till to him so he can start ringing me through. I quip "yeah, I guess I'll just pass these over, rather than yelling at the people in front of me, hey...". I complete my entire transaction with gramps and wifey still in the way. "But Ren," you say, "cut them some slack, they're old and slow". I say they forfeited their right to any slack when they told off some dude for nothing (in front of his fucking kid), and then proceed to do exactly what they accused him of.
Old folks always talk about how young people "have no respect". Yeah...no shit. Where do you think they learned it. Oh sure, their grandparents might be sweet as pie. But it's not hard to get the wrong idea about the aged when you go into the Mac's store with your dad to get a slurpee and he gets told off for no fucking reason. Gee. I bet that kid is gonna head right down to the nursing home and read some books out loud for some of the old biddies.
Maybe the reason anthropologist have so much trouble observing without intervening is because they have to see stupid shit like this. I just wish I didn't have my ID on display. I'm sure it's too late to teach that old dog some new tricks so strangling probably wouldn't have helped. I guess it would have had to be small pox.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Relief night at SDM
First off....I'm a sucker. I agreed about a month ago to do a relief shift at my old SDM. I don't really "need" the money, but more money is always nice.
Right.....
Also making me dread the shift before even stepping through the door was a call that I'd got a couple days prior from my old coworkers warning me that I might not have a tech for my shift. A year or so ago, when I was regularly working at SDM I could have handled that. But I haven't "counted pills" in basically a year. And that is the one skill valued above all others in retail pharmacy. I've worked a few shifts here and there, but always with a tech, and never at a store as routinely busy as my old haunt. I think I was right to be worried.
So, I got there, and as it turned out, they had found me a tech. That was good. What was less good was the identity of that tech. When I still worked there, she and I had a run-in or 3. I even made her cry once (or twice). Those of you who know me probably can't imagine me actually making someone cry. But it's happened a couple times, to a couple different techs. The names have changed, but the situation has generally been the same.
New tech starts.
New tech doesn't receive enough training
New tech is made to function on their own despite lack of training
Tech does stupid things.
Ren gets mad.
Tech does more stupid things.
Ren gets madder.
Tech says and does a whole bunch of stupid things in a flurry of insanity, ignorance, and incompetence.
Ren (with trade-mark pink face and head) calmly tells them that they have done and said way too many insane, ignorant and incompetant things in way too short a period of time and that he finds their performance unacceptable and that they need to improve in a hurry.
Tech crys and hides in the staff room until Ren's face/head no longer looks like a balding giant pink gum-ball.
Of course there was also one time that a tech placed a basket of drugs to check on top of a different patient's order that I was working on, and I threw her basket on the floor in a bit of a rage. Isn't it just my luck that I was working with that tech. Fortunately though, at the time of the basket-throwing incident, I realized I was wrong, and I had apologized. I think because of this, I had zero tech-related problems during my shift.
Of course this would be a pretty boring blog-post if I didn't have any good stories for you. That's where the customers come in. I hate customers. I like patients. This is why I left retail for the hospital. It is possible to have some patients in community pharmacy practice, however they are definitely the minority. Especially at a SDM on a sunday night. You are not an "integral member of the health-care team". You are the 7/11 of medication. You are open when the place the customer would rather go is closed. The people coming in aren't there because they respect YOU for your knowledge, and expertise and empathy, they're there because they left their shit until the last minute and you just happen to be open. (Wow - I just used all three of there/their/they're in one sentence....correctly no less). That's not a patient. That's a customer.
The first customers that I noticed were a nice couple with the most amazing german accents ever. I'm talking 1950's WWII movie accents. I'm still not sure what they were looking for, but they were at least nice. After all my years working in the NE, I can understand Indian-accented english no problem. But european accents just kill me.
Next customer of note was there to pick up some heart medication for his 5(ish) year old daughter. That would have been all kinds of wonderful if he had thought to call ahead. Problem is, 5 year olds don't get the same dose of heart medication as 50 year olds. Oh yeah, problem 2 is that 5 year olds don't make up a very large percentage of the heart medication market so there are no pre-made pills or syrups for them. So while Dad waited, my tech had to compound up some liquid atenolol for his little girl. When I went to check her work, I noticed that the drug file for the liquid was set up wrong and she was going to get the wrong dose.
Whoever had made the drug file had accidentally check-marked one extra box on the recipe. Just one little box. What could that possibly do? Well, this little box "locks" the quantity of an ingredient for a mixture so that no matter what volume you dispense, you use the same amount of that ingredient. For something like concentrated flavourings this is useful because 2-3 drops of flavour works just as well in a 50ml bottle as it does in a 500ml bottle. However it's not appropriate for the active ingredient. While 2x50mg tablets of atenolol in 50mls makes a nice 2mg/ml liquid, it is no longer a 2mg/ml liquid when you increase the volume to 100ml but still only use 2 tablets. In fact the patient would be getting 1/2 the proper dose. This might be ok for most things....but for a drug that's supposed to keep a 5 year old's heart from exploding....it's pretty unacceptable.
So now I've got Dad waiting, and I'm scrambling like a madman to fix this, and to decide if they'd been given the right stuff in the first place. It turns out that they had.....it was only with increasing the volume for the refill that the error in the drug file showed up. But it's a pretty big error, and I hate to say it, it's one that a lot pharmacists might have missed. Way to go me. Of course Dad was just pissed off that it took so long.
I didn't even see my next customer of note. She was calling in because she had brought in a prescription the night before and the pharmacist on duty got a message that her coverage was terminated. Generally drug insurance issues don't clear themselves up on weekends so I asked how I could help her. She said we must have the wrong numbers on file because her regular pharmacy has no problem with insurance (see how wonderful late-night drug-peddling is), and that I should call them and get her coverage numbers and bill things for her, or I should transfer the script there. Thinking that if we've already taken the time to get her prescription on file we might as well get paid for filling it, I called her pharmacy and asked if they'd share her info. Really they're under no obligation to do this. It's her insurance, and she should have provided us with the up-to-date card so we could bill it in the first place, but I asked nicely and they said they would help out. Well I give her name, and they can't find her on file. I thank them and assume that she told me the wrong store.
I call her back and after a chorus of about 5 people answering the phone one after each other "hello?" "hello!" "hello?" "hello!" "hello?" I got through to the correct person. I told her that "her" pharmacy didn't seem to have her on file and inquired as to whether she gave me the wrong store's info. She then informed me that she has a different last name at the other store and that is probably why they couldn't find her. I told her that it was not "probably" the reason.....it was THE REASON.
I called her pharmacy again and this time they were able to find her file. Funny what using only one name will do for efficiency. They then quoted me the exact same insurance info that I had on file. I'd had enough. I transferred them the prescription. I called and told her that. Since I don't work at her pharmacy I was completely unaware that they close at 6:00pm on sundays and it was already 5:50pm. At least I would claim to be unaware if it ever came up.
My next issue was a problem with a doctor. For the patient he'd ordered a compound of two different creams mixed together. Unfortunately he didn't seem to think it was important to let us in on the secret ratio of the two creams that he had wanted them to get. Since the prescription was dated over a month ago I didn't really go easy on the customer either. "I can't wait till tomorrow, I need it tonight". Gee bud. Maybe you should have brought it in sometime in the last 5 weeks and we could have had this sorted out already. But you instead decided to hold onto it until 8pm on a Sunday night. S.O.L. pal. We'll call in the morning.
My last annoying customer of the night was a woman that I could just tell was in a bad mood as soon as I saw her. She just had that body language that screams "stay out of my way". So of course I hustle up to the counter to help her out. Or maybe I took my time and finished off some filing leaving her to stew for a bit. Negative body language from you results in passive-aggressive retaliation from me. So I finally meander my way up to her and she asks for a prescription for her son. I take a quick look in the new-fills in the drawer and there was nothing there. I look him up on the computer and ask her what is meant to be ready since he hasn't had anything filled in 3 weeks. She says "it's his adderal....we got it a month ago and you didn't have enough". Ah....adderal. For ADD. I'm sure there are dozens of wonderful, patient caring parents whose children suffer from ADD. Unfortunately the stereotypical ADD-kid's mom tends to be a high-strung, multi-tasking, cell-phone-chatting, talking before thinking bitch. So I thanked her for now mentioning that she was picking up an owing and proceeded to quickly find his package.
She then started complaining that her daughter had come in earlier in the day to pick it up along with another prescription but "YOU didn't give it to her". I agreed that I most likely did not give anything to her daughter because I hadn't seen her daughter since my shift started at 4pm, and actually hadn't seen her since I worked there last over a year ago. She corrected herself and shifted the blame from me personally to "you guys". Much better. Psycho! But it didn't matter that much because it was one of us, and her daughter didn't get what she asked for and someone should be punished for that because mommy had to come out at 11pm for no good reason. So then, because I felt like pissing her off as much as possible, and since she is the type to make it really easy for me we had this conversation....
Ren - "So... you're saying that you're upset with us because your daughter came in for two prescriptions earlier, but she only came home with one?"
ADD-Mom - "That's right, it's not the first time that this has happened and this is totally unacceptable."
Ren - "So, you're saying that your daughter came in here expecting two things to be given to her, and she did not notice when she was only given one?"
ADD-Mom - "It's not like she checked the bag, she shouldn't have to"
Ren - "Ma'am, I'm not sure if she forgot to ask, or if we did forget to give it to her, but if your daughter is unable to count to two it would probably be best to not send her in alone for your family's medications in the future."
I thought she was going to spray me with goo after her eyeballs exploded out of her head. Instead she just grabbed the bag from my hand and stomped out.
Seriously....there's one person to blame here. And they're not employed by the store. It's not like we dropped 499 different items on the counter for her instead of 500. And it's not like a fast food drive through where you feel bad checking your bag in front of the window because some psycho ADD-Mom in a minivan is behind you honking because her ritalin-babies are starving. "Move your ass! Ritalin baby hungy! Ritalin baby hungy!"
Nope....this is like going up to the bar and asking for 2 bottles of Pilsner. When they come back to you with your beer, you pull out your fancy counting fingers and hold 2 of them up and compare the number of fingers to the number of bottles. If the number of fingers matches the number of bottles, then you happily pay your money and enjoy your beer. If they only give you one beer then you sulk off with your tail between your legs and tell your mommy that the mean people at the bar wouldn't give you two. Then you cry a bit and say "me hungy!" until mommy makes it all better. Or you grow up a little bit and say, "Excuse me my good man, I asked you for a quantity of beers that match the number of fingers that I am holding up. However I seem to have fewer beers than this and would like you to remedy the situation post-haste." Then you happily drink your beers and go home. Easy.
It's good to work a shift in retail every now and then. It very quickly reminds me why I don't do more.
"Mo' money, mo' tacos"
Right.....
So yeah. A month ago it seemed like a really good idea to do this shift. As the day drew closer I started looking forward to it less and less. First off, my Sunday night hockey started up a week earlier than I had planned, so I had to miss my first ice time. Also I had to work at the hospital the next day at 7am and that's really craptastic after working till midnight (or midnite) in retail hell.
Also making me dread the shift before even stepping through the door was a call that I'd got a couple days prior from my old coworkers warning me that I might not have a tech for my shift. A year or so ago, when I was regularly working at SDM I could have handled that. But I haven't "counted pills" in basically a year. And that is the one skill valued above all others in retail pharmacy. I've worked a few shifts here and there, but always with a tech, and never at a store as routinely busy as my old haunt. I think I was right to be worried.
So, I got there, and as it turned out, they had found me a tech. That was good. What was less good was the identity of that tech. When I still worked there, she and I had a run-in or 3. I even made her cry once (or twice). Those of you who know me probably can't imagine me actually making someone cry. But it's happened a couple times, to a couple different techs. The names have changed, but the situation has generally been the same.
New tech starts.
New tech doesn't receive enough training
New tech is made to function on their own despite lack of training
Tech does stupid things.
Ren gets mad.
Tech does more stupid things.
Ren gets madder.
Tech says and does a whole bunch of stupid things in a flurry of insanity, ignorance, and incompetence.
Ren (with trade-mark pink face and head) calmly tells them that they have done and said way too many insane, ignorant and incompetant things in way too short a period of time and that he finds their performance unacceptable and that they need to improve in a hurry.
Tech crys and hides in the staff room until Ren's face/head no longer looks like a balding giant pink gum-ball.
Of course there was also one time that a tech placed a basket of drugs to check on top of a different patient's order that I was working on, and I threw her basket on the floor in a bit of a rage. Isn't it just my luck that I was working with that tech. Fortunately though, at the time of the basket-throwing incident, I realized I was wrong, and I had apologized. I think because of this, I had zero tech-related problems during my shift.
Of course this would be a pretty boring blog-post if I didn't have any good stories for you. That's where the customers come in. I hate customers. I like patients. This is why I left retail for the hospital. It is possible to have some patients in community pharmacy practice, however they are definitely the minority. Especially at a SDM on a sunday night. You are not an "integral member of the health-care team". You are the 7/11 of medication. You are open when the place the customer would rather go is closed. The people coming in aren't there because they respect YOU for your knowledge, and expertise and empathy, they're there because they left their shit until the last minute and you just happen to be open. (Wow - I just used all three of there/their/they're in one sentence....correctly no less). That's not a patient. That's a customer.
The first customers that I noticed were a nice couple with the most amazing german accents ever. I'm talking 1950's WWII movie accents. I'm still not sure what they were looking for, but they were at least nice. After all my years working in the NE, I can understand Indian-accented english no problem. But european accents just kill me.
Next customer of note was there to pick up some heart medication for his 5(ish) year old daughter. That would have been all kinds of wonderful if he had thought to call ahead. Problem is, 5 year olds don't get the same dose of heart medication as 50 year olds. Oh yeah, problem 2 is that 5 year olds don't make up a very large percentage of the heart medication market so there are no pre-made pills or syrups for them. So while Dad waited, my tech had to compound up some liquid atenolol for his little girl. When I went to check her work, I noticed that the drug file for the liquid was set up wrong and she was going to get the wrong dose.
Whoever had made the drug file had accidentally check-marked one extra box on the recipe. Just one little box. What could that possibly do? Well, this little box "locks" the quantity of an ingredient for a mixture so that no matter what volume you dispense, you use the same amount of that ingredient. For something like concentrated flavourings this is useful because 2-3 drops of flavour works just as well in a 50ml bottle as it does in a 500ml bottle. However it's not appropriate for the active ingredient. While 2x50mg tablets of atenolol in 50mls makes a nice 2mg/ml liquid, it is no longer a 2mg/ml liquid when you increase the volume to 100ml but still only use 2 tablets. In fact the patient would be getting 1/2 the proper dose. This might be ok for most things....but for a drug that's supposed to keep a 5 year old's heart from exploding....it's pretty unacceptable.
So now I've got Dad waiting, and I'm scrambling like a madman to fix this, and to decide if they'd been given the right stuff in the first place. It turns out that they had.....it was only with increasing the volume for the refill that the error in the drug file showed up. But it's a pretty big error, and I hate to say it, it's one that a lot pharmacists might have missed. Way to go me. Of course Dad was just pissed off that it took so long.
I didn't even see my next customer of note. She was calling in because she had brought in a prescription the night before and the pharmacist on duty got a message that her coverage was terminated. Generally drug insurance issues don't clear themselves up on weekends so I asked how I could help her. She said we must have the wrong numbers on file because her regular pharmacy has no problem with insurance (see how wonderful late-night drug-peddling is), and that I should call them and get her coverage numbers and bill things for her, or I should transfer the script there. Thinking that if we've already taken the time to get her prescription on file we might as well get paid for filling it, I called her pharmacy and asked if they'd share her info. Really they're under no obligation to do this. It's her insurance, and she should have provided us with the up-to-date card so we could bill it in the first place, but I asked nicely and they said they would help out. Well I give her name, and they can't find her on file. I thank them and assume that she told me the wrong store.
I call her back and after a chorus of about 5 people answering the phone one after each other "hello?" "hello!" "hello?" "hello!" "hello?" I got through to the correct person. I told her that "her" pharmacy didn't seem to have her on file and inquired as to whether she gave me the wrong store's info. She then informed me that she has a different last name at the other store and that is probably why they couldn't find her. I told her that it was not "probably" the reason.....it was THE REASON.
I called her pharmacy again and this time they were able to find her file. Funny what using only one name will do for efficiency. They then quoted me the exact same insurance info that I had on file. I'd had enough. I transferred them the prescription. I called and told her that. Since I don't work at her pharmacy I was completely unaware that they close at 6:00pm on sundays and it was already 5:50pm. At least I would claim to be unaware if it ever came up.
My next issue was a problem with a doctor. For the patient he'd ordered a compound of two different creams mixed together. Unfortunately he didn't seem to think it was important to let us in on the secret ratio of the two creams that he had wanted them to get. Since the prescription was dated over a month ago I didn't really go easy on the customer either. "I can't wait till tomorrow, I need it tonight". Gee bud. Maybe you should have brought it in sometime in the last 5 weeks and we could have had this sorted out already. But you instead decided to hold onto it until 8pm on a Sunday night. S.O.L. pal. We'll call in the morning.
My last annoying customer of the night was a woman that I could just tell was in a bad mood as soon as I saw her. She just had that body language that screams "stay out of my way". So of course I hustle up to the counter to help her out. Or maybe I took my time and finished off some filing leaving her to stew for a bit. Negative body language from you results in passive-aggressive retaliation from me. So I finally meander my way up to her and she asks for a prescription for her son. I take a quick look in the new-fills in the drawer and there was nothing there. I look him up on the computer and ask her what is meant to be ready since he hasn't had anything filled in 3 weeks. She says "it's his adderal....we got it a month ago and you didn't have enough". Ah....adderal. For ADD. I'm sure there are dozens of wonderful, patient caring parents whose children suffer from ADD. Unfortunately the stereotypical ADD-kid's mom tends to be a high-strung, multi-tasking, cell-phone-chatting, talking before thinking bitch. So I thanked her for now mentioning that she was picking up an owing and proceeded to quickly find his package.
She then started complaining that her daughter had come in earlier in the day to pick it up along with another prescription but "YOU didn't give it to her". I agreed that I most likely did not give anything to her daughter because I hadn't seen her daughter since my shift started at 4pm, and actually hadn't seen her since I worked there last over a year ago. She corrected herself and shifted the blame from me personally to "you guys". Much better. Psycho! But it didn't matter that much because it was one of us, and her daughter didn't get what she asked for and someone should be punished for that because mommy had to come out at 11pm for no good reason. So then, because I felt like pissing her off as much as possible, and since she is the type to make it really easy for me we had this conversation....
Ren - "So... you're saying that you're upset with us because your daughter came in for two prescriptions earlier, but she only came home with one?"
ADD-Mom - "That's right, it's not the first time that this has happened and this is totally unacceptable."
Ren - "So, you're saying that your daughter came in here expecting two things to be given to her, and she did not notice when she was only given one?"
ADD-Mom - "It's not like she checked the bag, she shouldn't have to"
Ren - "Ma'am, I'm not sure if she forgot to ask, or if we did forget to give it to her, but if your daughter is unable to count to two it would probably be best to not send her in alone for your family's medications in the future."
I thought she was going to spray me with goo after her eyeballs exploded out of her head. Instead she just grabbed the bag from my hand and stomped out.
Seriously....there's one person to blame here. And they're not employed by the store. It's not like we dropped 499 different items on the counter for her instead of 500. And it's not like a fast food drive through where you feel bad checking your bag in front of the window because some psycho ADD-Mom in a minivan is behind you honking because her ritalin-babies are starving. "Move your ass! Ritalin baby hungy! Ritalin baby hungy!"
Nope....this is like going up to the bar and asking for 2 bottles of Pilsner. When they come back to you with your beer, you pull out your fancy counting fingers and hold 2 of them up and compare the number of fingers to the number of bottles. If the number of fingers matches the number of bottles, then you happily pay your money and enjoy your beer. If they only give you one beer then you sulk off with your tail between your legs and tell your mommy that the mean people at the bar wouldn't give you two. Then you cry a bit and say "me hungy!" until mommy makes it all better. Or you grow up a little bit and say, "Excuse me my good man, I asked you for a quantity of beers that match the number of fingers that I am holding up. However I seem to have fewer beers than this and would like you to remedy the situation post-haste." Then you happily drink your beers and go home. Easy.
It's good to work a shift in retail every now and then. It very quickly reminds me why I don't do more.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
90 Mile Waterwall
So how could your hair
Have the nerve to dance around like that, blowing
And how could the air
Have the nerve to blow your hair around like that
Have the nerve to dance around like that, blowing
And how could the air
Have the nerve to blow your hair around like that
Thursday, September 18, 2008
5.5 New Reviews up
Just got done with posting up 3.5 new reviews. The one probably could have just been a blog post, but I decided to put it on there to go with matt's 2 from New York (added just a couple days ago).
Check em out.
Check em out.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Up. Down. Really that's all there is.
Working in my office at the hospital for my two weeks of clinical time, I get to ride the elevator a lot. My office is on the 10th floor (of 12) but most of my patients are on the 3rd. Or on the 4th floor in the next building over. I could take the stairs, and I usually do when heading down, no matter how far, but 10 floors up is a bit much for me.
Despite all the practice I've been getting using an elevator since starting here, I don't think I've improved my elevator skills any. I haven't developed any secret techniques that make my elevator use seem effortless while the general population struggles. This isn't throwing a 50yd touchdown pass people. It's not playing the Super Mario Brothers theme song on a ukelele. I really don't think there is any skill involved whatsoever. But for some reason, the elevator seems to just confuse the hell out of some people.
"But Ren!", you say, "isn't an elevator a fancy machine with lots of computers and moving parts and cutting edge technology?" Ok, sure, behind the scenes. We're not building an elevator. We're not even repairing the elevator. We are just riding the elevator. How difficult is that? Let's see.
What can you do when riding an elevator?
- Get in
- Push buttons
- Get out
That's it. Three freaken things that you can do with an elevator. That's not so hard is it. "But Ren!", you say, "there's lots of other stuff you can do with an elevator". Ok, sure, you can push other buttons. You can use the emergency phone. You can kill your prison guards in a courthouse in Memphis and then peel one of their faces off and wear it as a disguise, and hide his body on top of the elevator car. However, don't. That's all. Just don't. Simply get on. Push the button you need. Wait. Get off. Don't push any other buttons. Don't try to order a fucking pizza with the emergency phone. Don't kill anyone and wear their face as a mask. Easy.
"But Ren!", you say "what if they've pushed the button to call the elevator and nothing's happening?" First off, do you know nothing is happening? When you pushed the button did it light up? Of course it did, that's what the buttons do here. That light tells you that something is, in fact, happening. Was the button already lit when you pressed it? Well for starters, why the hell would you press it again? It's already lit. Do you think that your extra press will make it come faster? Are you stupid. Do you have some kind of OCD? Do you stand at crosswalks and pound on that button 40-50 times to make sure you get a walk light? Did you forget to take your meds this morning? If I had any control over the elevators, I would write in a little program in the computer that would make 1 elevator car skip your floor for every extra button press. This of course has the potential to terrorize the poor people in the elevator who want to go to that floor as their elevator keeps skipping over it, never letting them off as idiots stand on their floor mashing the call-elevator button.
Also on the topic of the call elevator button. If they give you the option of a down button and an up button, just press the direction you need. If you want to go to a lower floor press down. Higher floor press up. It's easy to make this distinction by looking at the numbers and using all of your Sesame Street skills decide which you need. When you press the other button, it's not actually a secret "get the elevator faster" prize. It just makes an extra car, going the wrong direction come to a stop, and open the door, while all the people look around to see who's getting off, and then when no-one does, one of the OCD imbeciles starts pounding the Close door button and off it goes again. You still don't have an elevator ride, and if that was going to be your ride on the flip-side, you just delayed the process. Nice work speedy.
Oh yeah. If the fire alarm is ringing. Take the stairs. Number one rule of not becoming charcoal is: don't ride the elevator in a fire. If you can't take the stairs, wait for help. It's a hospital. Trust me, we're not allowed to just leave without you.
Alright, next topic. The buttons inside the elevator car. You've got a few more options than the up/down buttons on the outside, but really, there's just one that you need. Push your floor. Here at the hospital it's pretty easy. The units are numbered in 10's and the first digit is the floor number. The units 101/112/ are on the 10th and 11th floors respectively. Not too hard. It's a bit trickier when heading back down again. Do you want "M" or "G" or "B"? OMG, how confusing. I bet those letters don't actually stand for anything and were just randomly thrown on the menu. How will I ever know where I'm supposed to go? The easiest way is to just pay attention to what floor you started on. But...that requires planning, and short-term-memory and basic intellegence, so we'll ignore that one.
- M stands for Main. This is the "main" floor of the hospital. Nothing too confusing about that. Being the "main" floor, it contains the main entrance and exit to the hospital. Honestly, you probably started out here.
- G stands for Ground. In some buildings G stands for garage. I suppose that could be confusing to you. But since you didn't get out of your car in a garage and immediately take the elevator from the garage itself, you can be pretty safe thinking that this isn't the meaning of the G. the ground floor is 1/2 in and 1/2 out of the ground. It's like a walk-out basement, but without the 50 inch plasma TV. Instead, there's a cafeteria. With cafeteria food. If you were wanting to go back to your car, you should have hit M. If you were wanting food, you probably still should have hit M, gotten in your car and driven somewhere with better food.
- B stands for Basement. You probably don't want to go there. It's a clammy, dark, cold hallway. The only things down here are the morgue, and the hospital's pharmacy. That is why the only people on the elevator pressing B are kind of pale and anti-social. Do not join them.
Also, when you get on the elevator, don't assume that the other people on there are going to the same place as you. Your aunt mabel is one hell of a lady, but not everyone is going to unit 32 to go visit her. See that pasty, pale guy with the ipod? He's heading to the morgue. In the basement. You want to go home? Make sure M is pressed, or you're heading down to the basement with him.
Also inside the car we have the open/close door buttons. These are indicated with symbols that look kinda like this.
- Open Door <>
- Close door ><
If someone is rushing to catch the elevator and you don't know which is which, don't just stab one, cause you're probably hitting the close door one, and making yourself look like an asshole. If you really want to help the guy, just stick your arm into the door opening. It won't crush you, it probably won't even touch you. There's a sensor in there so it doesn't shut if something is in the way. If you're in a big hurry and too busy to wait for the guy, just look at the buttons kinda confused and hover your hand above them like you're figuring it out, just not quick enough, while the door slams in their face. Then you don't actually look like an asshole, even though you are one.
Also, here at the hospital, the close door button actually works. Unlike 95% of elevators that include that button just to give the OCD people something to do, the ones here start to close when you press it. That means, don't hit the fucking button until people are all the way through the door. You know those sensors, they seem to get partially over-ridden when you hit the button. It won't let you crush anyone to death, but it usually will keep going till it makes pretty solid contact before opening again.
Ok, so that's the buttons. Not too hard. To summarize the buttons.
- call elevator to go up or down by pressing appropriate button.
- ONCE!!!
- press the button for the floor of your destination
- you should probably just leave the Close Door button alone
- If you really must press it, make sure there is nobody going through the door
- Don't touch anything else
That's it. That's all.
Ok, now for the next part. Getting in/out. "But Ren!", you say, "why even bother talking about this, how could anyone screw this up?" Oh, people screw this up. Big-time. The first mistake people make is trying to get into the elevator before the people exiting have gotten out. There is a relatively limited space in the elevator. As well the door often creates a bit of a bottle-neck. Have you ever had a completely full glass of water but decided you want beer in it instead? Do you just pour the beer in and let it push the water out of the way? Of course not you drunkard! Same thing, just wait slightly off to the side and let the damn people off, then get on. If I'm getting off the elevator and you're standing right in the middle of the doorway starting to head in, I will not walk around you. I will hit you right in the chest with my shoulder. I'm not a muscle-head. But I am 6'2" and about 190lbs. I play hockey. I know how to put a shoulder into someones chest. Would you like to try?
Also on the topic of getting in. Go through the door, press the button for your floor and move to the back. Ok, if you're getting out in 3-4 floors maybe just pick a place along the side wall, about 1/2-way to the back. Do not stand right in the middle. And do not hit your floor and then stand right beside the bank of buttons. If you do this, three things can happen. Firstly, people may just shout out their floors to you, and you will be expected to hit the buttons for them. Or, since most people would rather not talk to anyone on an elevator, they will probably elbow past you and hit the buttons themselves. Or third, if you're a moderately hot chick, they might try to hit the buttons themselves, but "accidentally" give you a little grope on the way. Whoops! Heh heh. Boobies. It's not always possible to organize the people in the elevator by floor, but if you're riding to the top, maybe try to get near the back, and if you're getting off soon, try to stay near the front. Also, if the elevator is already full, don't get in. I know you're really important. Can't take the time to wait for the next one. But you can't defy the laws of physics and just squeeze in. If there's no room, there's no room.
And if you're only going 1 floor. Don't get on at all. Unless you have a handicap sticker on your car do not violate the elevator with your lazy ass. Especially if you are only going 1 floor down. If you need to go only 1 floor down, you can fall that without getting hurt. Come to the stairs and I will show you. There should be a rule that you aren't allowed to go less than 2 floors up or 4 floors down without showing some evidence of physical handicap.
If there's someone trying to get on in a wheelchair, or with a walker, or IV pole, try to organize yourself close to the other people and let them in. It's a hospital god-damn it. Maybe even let them in first and then organize around them instead of making them plow into the crowd of you. Wouldn't that be sweet of you.
Getting out, seems to be less difficult, but people still seem to have trouble. Pay attention to the display in the elevator, when it says your floor, get out. If you're stuck near the back wait to see who else is moving, and then say "excuse me" if you need people to get out of the way, and get out. Don't start saying "excuse me" before the elevator stops. If the person directly in front of you is also getting out you seem like a bit of a douche. It's like honking at the guy in front of you as soon as the light changes. Give the person a second. Also, do not just start shoving your way out. If there are people between you and the door not moving, ask them nicely to get out of your way. Basic human decency. Not too difficult.
That's it. How to use an elevator in a couple simple steps. Why is it so difficult for you people? To summarize....
HOW TO USE AN ELEVATOR
- Press button to call elevator
- Get on
- Press button for floor
- Wait
- Get off
That's it. Not that fucking hard, now is it. The problems seem to arise from a basic lack of common sense, good manners and simple patience. Well, get over it.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Today's sign of the apocalypse
Today I was out shopping and decided to browse the HMV a bit. I suppose that was my first mistake, but let's ignore that for now. I was wanting to buy a Replacements album or two.... but of course they didn't have any.
But that's not the worst part.... I took a peek in the jazz section to see if there was anything that jumped out at me and what did I see but an entire row of Harry Connick Jr albums and only 3 by Miles Davis.
"But Ren!" you exclaim.... "Harry Connick has had a very successful career, from his first album at the age of 10 and a total of about 25 albums between then and now".
At this point I kick you in your head for making a worthless argument defending a mediocre "artist" who makes the kind of Jazz music that makes people say they hate jazz because it is boring as hell.
This is Miles Davis people!!! .... the man so cool he got name-checked in Billy Madison as part of a peeing-your-pants joke and came away all the cooler for it. Allmusic.com lists about 95 studio/live albums for him, not counting compilations. There are at least 5 of his albums that every music store on the planet should keep in stock at all times just as a service to humanity.
And if your music store has room for 20ish Harry Connick Jr cd's (including duplicate copies) it should sure as hell should have room for at least a dozen Miles Davis albums.
And don't even get me started about their lack of Bob Dylan.
(This rant courtesy of a guy who was there looking for Let It Be by the Replacements....so you know it's not just some jazz snob either!)
----------------
Now playing: The Replacements - Answering Machine
via FoxyTunes
But that's not the worst part.... I took a peek in the jazz section to see if there was anything that jumped out at me and what did I see but an entire row of Harry Connick Jr albums and only 3 by Miles Davis.
"But Ren!" you exclaim.... "Harry Connick has had a very successful career, from his first album at the age of 10 and a total of about 25 albums between then and now".
At this point I kick you in your head for making a worthless argument defending a mediocre "artist" who makes the kind of Jazz music that makes people say they hate jazz because it is boring as hell.
This is Miles Davis people!!! .... the man so cool he got name-checked in Billy Madison as part of a peeing-your-pants joke and came away all the cooler for it. Allmusic.com lists about 95 studio/live albums for him, not counting compilations. There are at least 5 of his albums that every music store on the planet should keep in stock at all times just as a service to humanity.
And if your music store has room for 20ish Harry Connick Jr cd's (including duplicate copies) it should sure as hell should have room for at least a dozen Miles Davis albums.
And don't even get me started about their lack of Bob Dylan.
(This rant courtesy of a guy who was there looking for Let It Be by the Replacements....so you know it's not just some jazz snob either!)
----------------
Now playing: The Replacements - Answering Machine
via FoxyTunes
Monday, August 11, 2008
The Missing Review - Cookingforyou.ca
For whatever reason, all the reviews seem to be working except this one. To not deprive our fans (both of you....hi Mom!!!) of our critical voices, I've decided to post this one here until we can sort out the glitches at dodgycurry.ca.
Cookingforyou.ca - July 16, 2008
A friend of mine once told me that she couldn’t wait to be admitted to a nursing home because they have people who do everything for you: Tell you when to get up. Tell you when to go to bed. Tell you when to take your pills. Feed you. Bathe you. Wipe your ass. Entertain you. Having myself worked in a nursing home, I fully disagree. I would argue that such lack of independence is detrimental to one’s dignity. However, when Ren found a website called Cookingforyou.ca, I was more than willing to relinquish independence and let someone else do the work for me. (matt)
It's a well known fact that Matty lived at home during university. As everyone is aware, these are the key years for learning how to live independently and to teach yourself how and when to get up, go to bed, take your pills, eat, bathe, etc. Unfortunately, due to Matty's living situation during college, he did not even start to explore these skill-sets until he was 22. This has left him at times very confused and his development very stunted. You know how uncomfortable you feel when you're in a public washroom and some random 4-year old kid comes out of a cubicle and asks you to wipe his ass for him because he doesn't really know how, yet his parents have sent him into the world (of public restrooms) alone? Now imagine if that kid is 30 years old, and has been eating vindaloo. (ren)
The idea behind Cookingforyou.ca is that you can have pre-made meals delivered to your house, which can be thrown in the microwave and served as if they were prepared by yourself. It’s ideal if you are bedridden or lazy like us. That being said, if you are bedridden, be warned to stock up appropriately as they only deliver to certain areas of the city depending on what day of the week it is. In other words, if it’s Monday and you are a cancer patient living in Spruce Cliff (wherever that is), don’t count on your delivery for another 3 days. Hope you have lots of Lean Cuisine, Mr. Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. (Offside.) (matt)
While cancer is never funny, the idea of actually relying on cookingforyou.ca to properly nourish a human being is down-right hilarious. I think the guy with the “Monkey Chow Diary” http://www.angryman.ca/monkey.html had a much better idea. (ren)
When we looked at the menu, we counted at least 4 curries. While we both agreed to preface this review with the caveat that Cookingforyou.ca is not an Indian restaurant nor is it an Indian focused business, we thought our readers might enjoy a different type of review. In the future, we will likely review curry-centric items you can buy at your local Safeway. We won’t even discuss the dress code. (matt)
I might still discuss the dress code. This is all from memory of course, but back when I worked there, it was to my immense amusement that I discovered some discrepancies to “the code” On the store-wide dress code you were allowed to wear black, brown or navy pants, however the pharmacy-specific one did not allow navy, but did allow green. No matter how I twisted it around in my head I could not figure out what made green appropriate for pharmacy staff, but not the rest of the store. Did they keep getting mistaken for produce? It would be quite annoying to be a Safeway manager and find your produce guy having a nap, upside down in the lettuce with only his green pants-ed legs sticking out; the perfect disguise. And what was wrong with pharmacists wearing blue? I just don't get it. When I was there I mostly dressed in drag, since they made no mention of gender-specific requirements and I thought a nice flowery skirt would look better than boring old black pants anyway. (ren)
I live in Palliser, meaning I needed to order for Wednesday. I didn’t really need to ask Ren what he wanted. I knew he would go with Butter Chicken. I chose the Kashmiri Lamb dish. I felt ridiculous ordering 2 servings of Rice for $6.75 but did anyways just for kicks. I could have made rice at home but thought that if I was gonna relinquish independence, I might as well have the same experience as my nursing home patients. Day 5 of bowel protocol: Fleet enema. (matt)
It is not a given that I will go with butter chicken, but given the choices that was definitely the safe bet. When there are other dishes on the menu that intrigue me, or if I have a feeling that the butter chicken will disappoint I tend to steer clear. However, the only thing that caught my eye on the menu more than the butter chicken was the “Whole savoury roasted turkey”for $150. However this not being a very traditional indian dish, and me not having 18 other friends to share it with, I decided to go with the old stand-by. (ren)
One day before my date with Ren, I placed a phone call to Cookingforyou.ca to order. I was told that they would have to phone me back after the owner/manager had okay’d the order for delivery. What was this about? I wondered if they were scoping out my address to see if it actually existed. I thought about the time my friend secretly ordered a pizza to be delivered to Andreas Garvic’s house and then watched from behind some bushes as hilarity & confusion occurred between Garvic & the pizza delivery boy.
They phoned me back a few hours later. I was told that they are not able to deliver for orders under $50. While I later confirmed on their website that this is the policy, it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I would have to order 2 other curries. In this case, Potato and Spinach Dhal and Chicken & Yoghurt curry which is Very High in Fiber according to the website. I applaud them for including the nutritional information. A nice touch. (matt)
They also mention that the potato and spinach dhal is low in cholesterol, which is always nice considering my awesome lipid panel. Of course this was balanced out by the butter chicken which is notoriously high in cholesterol. We sold an awful lot of lipitor up in castleridge. They've actually included nutritional info for nearly every dish, which would be nice if I cared about that sort of thing. My bag of Doritos also has nutritional info on the back. (ren)
At this point I was informed that delivery would be between 1-3PM, when I was at work but that they could charge me a deposit of 5 dollars for a refrigeration container, to be left on my porch. If I didn’t want to drive to the Foothills Industrial Park to return the container, the staff member suggested, I “could recycle it”. Hmm… Environmentally friendly AND business savy?!? Think again. Recycling Styrofoam can be difficult, cost prohibitive (http://www.ci.concord.ca.us/living/recycle/env-styrofoam-peanuts.htm) and is not listed on the City of Calgary’s website of recyclable material.(matt)
We could have “recycled” it like we did on the Calgary Flames bus trip back in our college days, by tearing it into the littlest pieces that we could and scattering them around the bus. This angered the bus driver so much that we got to ride all the way back to saskatoon without heat. Alternately we could have labeled it up as an “organ in transit” box and left it sitting around in odd places, filming the results in a Candid Camera type manner. This plan would need us to actually purchase a video camera, so it was quickly nixed. (ren)
I was asked to make a cheque payable to Wife Inc. and leave it in the mailbox. If you actually have a wife, it’s important to let your spouse know that Wife Incorporated is not some type of Russian mail- order bride service or dirty latin maid service, but rather, the parent company of Cookingforyou.ca. Otherwise, there could be some awkward personal banking discussions in your household. (matt)
Not unlike “Hire a Husband”, the general contracting company around town here. Of course if your wife is routinely having to hire a surrogate husband for the basic yard-work duties it might be time to pay her a little more attention before she finds a surrogate husband for her other needs. (ren)
The next day I rushed home from work to find a massive Styrofoam “eskie” on my front porch. I couldn’t believe the size of it. I think my neighbours suspected I was importing massive supplies of refrigerated Anthrax and Smallpox Vaccines. It was a serious case of over packaging. On top of the foam crate was the invoice for $65. Ouch. To add insult to injury, part of the invoice had a section labeled Percent Discount. Under this header, someone had handwritten “0%”. It was like they looked at the invoice, saw my name and said, “we’re not even gonna leave this area blank. We want him to know he’s worth ZERO. Let’s write it in so he knows.” Cookingforyou.ca was losing points and we hadn’t even started nuking the curry.(matt)
The cooking for you webpage recommends letting their dishes thaw overnight before cooking, however, being men we had no time to wait for this. We wanted to eat the same day as delivery and nothing was going to stop us. Of course we were then pleased to find that the packaging had defrosting instructions right on them..... game on! (ren)
Ren arrived and we opened beers. Each food package had nutritional information and easy to follow instructions: Defrost x 12-14mins then heat x 2-3 mins. Unfortuanately, the engineering team who designed my microwave decided that if you are going to defrost something it must be either POULTRY, MEAT or FISH and you must know the weight of the substance in pounds. There is no generic DEFROST button. While I was able to figure out the weight of each dish based on the labeling and higher math (read: multiplication), the task of defrosting the lentils dish caused some frustration. Next time I buy a microwave it’s gonna have a “Legumes” button. (matt)
This of course is still better than my microwave which is so insanely overpowered that I generally have to divide cooking times for most products by ½ in order to not completely chernobyl them. One would think that buying a more powerful “Radiation King” is automatically a good thing, however it is very hard to cook a cup-a-noodles when the water completely boils out in the first 30 seconds leaving the noodles simmering in a melting plastic cup of doom. (ren)
Nonetheless, we figured things out and sat down to watch Kenny vs Spenny while we ate. The best part of our meals were (in order): 1) Heineken, 2) 7 dollars worth of Steamed Rice, 3) Kashmiri Lamb 4) nothing else. If we had to recommend something to order, it would be the Lamb dish, which actually had some flavour. On its own it might have scored a 6 or 7. Unfortuanately, the rest of the dishes didn’t really hold up. The Butter chicken, Chicken and yoghurt curry and Dhal, all lacked in spice. Ren remarked that he was uncertain whether we were actually eating curry. I later saw him digging through my kitchen garbage to forensically exam the packaging and labels for evidence of curry. When he brought out the “CSI black light” and mysteriously started inspecting my mattress, I had to put my foot down and throw him out of my house.(matt)
In place of actually writing about the food, I will post an MSN conversation I had with a friend after I returned home:
Curry Ren says (9:15 PM):
yeah....tasted like they froze it a year ago....
you know how potatoes taste if you freeze them then thaw em and eat em
Diana says (9:16 PM):
ick...ur right...no good at all...freezerburn is bunk
Curry Ren says (9:17 PM):
and all 4 dishes tasted like that
and it cost $65
ick
the only thing i would have eaten in a restaurant was the curried lamb....and that would only be in a pub....after 3 newcastles....and before 2 more
Diana says (9:18 PM):
blammo! that is totally balls!
Curry Ren says (9:19 PM):
and it even just had that kinda generic "we threw some safeway curry powder in the pot so now it's lamb curry" vibe.....not particularly great
Diana says (9:20 PM):
that is unfortunate indeed..hopefully you can redeem yourself and your hunger sometime soon
Curry Ren says (9:21 PM):
yeah.....you might not have to read the review for this one.....it seems to be writing itself during this conversation
That's enough of a review for me. Maybe I should have gone with the whole turkey. (ren)
In fairness to Cookingforyou.ca, they do have a money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with the food. While I considered taking them up on this offer, I didn’t think it would be ethically or journalistically responsible as a food critic to do so. I will concede that the Lamb Kashmiri is a decent dish and that Cookingforyou.ca isn’t a curry restaurant and as such, probably shouldn’t be held to the same standards as say, Punjabi Sweethouse. However, if you’re an avid reader of this website, you know we don’t mince words about curry. We are brutally honest and sometimes painfully harsh. I’m giving Cookingforyou.ca a zero percent discount when it comes to scoring the experience.
Score: 3/10
[Apparently matty is so upset he forgot to list 3 people who were not at his house...... (ren)]
Cookingforyou.ca - July 16, 2008
A friend of mine once told me that she couldn’t wait to be admitted to a nursing home because they have people who do everything for you: Tell you when to get up. Tell you when to go to bed. Tell you when to take your pills. Feed you. Bathe you. Wipe your ass. Entertain you. Having myself worked in a nursing home, I fully disagree. I would argue that such lack of independence is detrimental to one’s dignity. However, when Ren found a website called Cookingforyou.ca, I was more than willing to relinquish independence and let someone else do the work for me. (matt)
It's a well known fact that Matty lived at home during university. As everyone is aware, these are the key years for learning how to live independently and to teach yourself how and when to get up, go to bed, take your pills, eat, bathe, etc. Unfortunately, due to Matty's living situation during college, he did not even start to explore these skill-sets until he was 22. This has left him at times very confused and his development very stunted. You know how uncomfortable you feel when you're in a public washroom and some random 4-year old kid comes out of a cubicle and asks you to wipe his ass for him because he doesn't really know how, yet his parents have sent him into the world (of public restrooms) alone? Now imagine if that kid is 30 years old, and has been eating vindaloo. (ren)
The idea behind Cookingforyou.ca is that you can have pre-made meals delivered to your house, which can be thrown in the microwave and served as if they were prepared by yourself. It’s ideal if you are bedridden or lazy like us. That being said, if you are bedridden, be warned to stock up appropriately as they only deliver to certain areas of the city depending on what day of the week it is. In other words, if it’s Monday and you are a cancer patient living in Spruce Cliff (wherever that is), don’t count on your delivery for another 3 days. Hope you have lots of Lean Cuisine, Mr. Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. (Offside.) (matt)
While cancer is never funny, the idea of actually relying on cookingforyou.ca to properly nourish a human being is down-right hilarious. I think the guy with the “Monkey Chow Diary” http://www.angryman.ca/monkey.html had a much better idea. (ren)
When we looked at the menu, we counted at least 4 curries. While we both agreed to preface this review with the caveat that Cookingforyou.ca is not an Indian restaurant nor is it an Indian focused business, we thought our readers might enjoy a different type of review. In the future, we will likely review curry-centric items you can buy at your local Safeway. We won’t even discuss the dress code. (matt)
I might still discuss the dress code. This is all from memory of course, but back when I worked there, it was to my immense amusement that I discovered some discrepancies to “the code” On the store-wide dress code you were allowed to wear black, brown or navy pants, however the pharmacy-specific one did not allow navy, but did allow green. No matter how I twisted it around in my head I could not figure out what made green appropriate for pharmacy staff, but not the rest of the store. Did they keep getting mistaken for produce? It would be quite annoying to be a Safeway manager and find your produce guy having a nap, upside down in the lettuce with only his green pants-ed legs sticking out; the perfect disguise. And what was wrong with pharmacists wearing blue? I just don't get it. When I was there I mostly dressed in drag, since they made no mention of gender-specific requirements and I thought a nice flowery skirt would look better than boring old black pants anyway. (ren)
I live in Palliser, meaning I needed to order for Wednesday. I didn’t really need to ask Ren what he wanted. I knew he would go with Butter Chicken. I chose the Kashmiri Lamb dish. I felt ridiculous ordering 2 servings of Rice for $6.75 but did anyways just for kicks. I could have made rice at home but thought that if I was gonna relinquish independence, I might as well have the same experience as my nursing home patients. Day 5 of bowel protocol: Fleet enema. (matt)
It is not a given that I will go with butter chicken, but given the choices that was definitely the safe bet. When there are other dishes on the menu that intrigue me, or if I have a feeling that the butter chicken will disappoint I tend to steer clear. However, the only thing that caught my eye on the menu more than the butter chicken was the “Whole savoury roasted turkey”for $150. However this not being a very traditional indian dish, and me not having 18 other friends to share it with, I decided to go with the old stand-by. (ren)
One day before my date with Ren, I placed a phone call to Cookingforyou.ca to order. I was told that they would have to phone me back after the owner/manager had okay’d the order for delivery. What was this about? I wondered if they were scoping out my address to see if it actually existed. I thought about the time my friend secretly ordered a pizza to be delivered to Andreas Garvic’s house and then watched from behind some bushes as hilarity & confusion occurred between Garvic & the pizza delivery boy.
They phoned me back a few hours later. I was told that they are not able to deliver for orders under $50. While I later confirmed on their website that this is the policy, it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I would have to order 2 other curries. In this case, Potato and Spinach Dhal and Chicken & Yoghurt curry which is Very High in Fiber according to the website. I applaud them for including the nutritional information. A nice touch. (matt)
They also mention that the potato and spinach dhal is low in cholesterol, which is always nice considering my awesome lipid panel. Of course this was balanced out by the butter chicken which is notoriously high in cholesterol. We sold an awful lot of lipitor up in castleridge. They've actually included nutritional info for nearly every dish, which would be nice if I cared about that sort of thing. My bag of Doritos also has nutritional info on the back. (ren)
At this point I was informed that delivery would be between 1-3PM, when I was at work but that they could charge me a deposit of 5 dollars for a refrigeration container, to be left on my porch. If I didn’t want to drive to the Foothills Industrial Park to return the container, the staff member suggested, I “could recycle it”. Hmm… Environmentally friendly AND business savy?!? Think again. Recycling Styrofoam can be difficult, cost prohibitive (http://www.ci.concord.ca.us/living/recycle/env-styrofoam-peanuts.htm) and is not listed on the City of Calgary’s website of recyclable material.(matt)
We could have “recycled” it like we did on the Calgary Flames bus trip back in our college days, by tearing it into the littlest pieces that we could and scattering them around the bus. This angered the bus driver so much that we got to ride all the way back to saskatoon without heat. Alternately we could have labeled it up as an “organ in transit” box and left it sitting around in odd places, filming the results in a Candid Camera type manner. This plan would need us to actually purchase a video camera, so it was quickly nixed. (ren)
I was asked to make a cheque payable to Wife Inc. and leave it in the mailbox. If you actually have a wife, it’s important to let your spouse know that Wife Incorporated is not some type of Russian mail- order bride service or dirty latin maid service, but rather, the parent company of Cookingforyou.ca. Otherwise, there could be some awkward personal banking discussions in your household. (matt)
Not unlike “Hire a Husband”, the general contracting company around town here. Of course if your wife is routinely having to hire a surrogate husband for the basic yard-work duties it might be time to pay her a little more attention before she finds a surrogate husband for her other needs. (ren)
The next day I rushed home from work to find a massive Styrofoam “eskie” on my front porch. I couldn’t believe the size of it. I think my neighbours suspected I was importing massive supplies of refrigerated Anthrax and Smallpox Vaccines. It was a serious case of over packaging. On top of the foam crate was the invoice for $65. Ouch. To add insult to injury, part of the invoice had a section labeled Percent Discount. Under this header, someone had handwritten “0%”. It was like they looked at the invoice, saw my name and said, “we’re not even gonna leave this area blank. We want him to know he’s worth ZERO. Let’s write it in so he knows.” Cookingforyou.ca was losing points and we hadn’t even started nuking the curry.(matt)
The cooking for you webpage recommends letting their dishes thaw overnight before cooking, however, being men we had no time to wait for this. We wanted to eat the same day as delivery and nothing was going to stop us. Of course we were then pleased to find that the packaging had defrosting instructions right on them..... game on! (ren)
Ren arrived and we opened beers. Each food package had nutritional information and easy to follow instructions: Defrost x 12-14mins then heat x 2-3 mins. Unfortuanately, the engineering team who designed my microwave decided that if you are going to defrost something it must be either POULTRY, MEAT or FISH and you must know the weight of the substance in pounds. There is no generic DEFROST button. While I was able to figure out the weight of each dish based on the labeling and higher math (read: multiplication), the task of defrosting the lentils dish caused some frustration. Next time I buy a microwave it’s gonna have a “Legumes” button. (matt)
This of course is still better than my microwave which is so insanely overpowered that I generally have to divide cooking times for most products by ½ in order to not completely chernobyl them. One would think that buying a more powerful “Radiation King” is automatically a good thing, however it is very hard to cook a cup-a-noodles when the water completely boils out in the first 30 seconds leaving the noodles simmering in a melting plastic cup of doom. (ren)
Nonetheless, we figured things out and sat down to watch Kenny vs Spenny while we ate. The best part of our meals were (in order): 1) Heineken, 2) 7 dollars worth of Steamed Rice, 3) Kashmiri Lamb 4) nothing else. If we had to recommend something to order, it would be the Lamb dish, which actually had some flavour. On its own it might have scored a 6 or 7. Unfortuanately, the rest of the dishes didn’t really hold up. The Butter chicken, Chicken and yoghurt curry and Dhal, all lacked in spice. Ren remarked that he was uncertain whether we were actually eating curry. I later saw him digging through my kitchen garbage to forensically exam the packaging and labels for evidence of curry. When he brought out the “CSI black light” and mysteriously started inspecting my mattress, I had to put my foot down and throw him out of my house.(matt)
In place of actually writing about the food, I will post an MSN conversation I had with a friend after I returned home:
Curry Ren says (9:15 PM):
yeah....tasted like they froze it a year ago....
you know how potatoes taste if you freeze them then thaw em and eat em
Diana says (9:16 PM):
ick...ur right...no good at all...freezerburn is bunk
Curry Ren says (9:17 PM):
and all 4 dishes tasted like that
and it cost $65
ick
the only thing i would have eaten in a restaurant was the curried lamb....and that would only be in a pub....after 3 newcastles....and before 2 more
Diana says (9:18 PM):
blammo! that is totally balls!
Curry Ren says (9:19 PM):
and it even just had that kinda generic "we threw some safeway curry powder in the pot so now it's lamb curry" vibe.....not particularly great
Diana says (9:20 PM):
that is unfortunate indeed..hopefully you can redeem yourself and your hunger sometime soon
Curry Ren says (9:21 PM):
yeah.....you might not have to read the review for this one.....it seems to be writing itself during this conversation
That's enough of a review for me. Maybe I should have gone with the whole turkey. (ren)
In fairness to Cookingforyou.ca, they do have a money back guarantee if you are not satisfied with the food. While I considered taking them up on this offer, I didn’t think it would be ethically or journalistically responsible as a food critic to do so. I will concede that the Lamb Kashmiri is a decent dish and that Cookingforyou.ca isn’t a curry restaurant and as such, probably shouldn’t be held to the same standards as say, Punjabi Sweethouse. However, if you’re an avid reader of this website, you know we don’t mince words about curry. We are brutally honest and sometimes painfully harsh. I’m giving Cookingforyou.ca a zero percent discount when it comes to scoring the experience.
Score: 3/10
[Apparently matty is so upset he forgot to list 3 people who were not at his house...... (ren)]
It's big? Really? I hadn't noticed.
I'm just winding down one of my wonderful weekends of work at the hospital tonight, and it's not so bad...but there's one thing that really gets old in a hurry.
Just about every night shift I bring in one of my insulated 7-11 mugs full of diet pepsi. And they're pretty bigs mugs. The Xtreme gulp one is apparently 52oz of awesomeness and the G-Force one appears to be about the same, however with no claimed size on the side.
But really....does everyone at work need to comment every time I come through the door with these? I get it. It's pretty big. It's a lot of pop. I should be drinking water. Yes, I have to pee a lot. Yes, you would probably have to pee a lot.
Enough already. I don't take it upon myself to give my opinion about my coworkers' mousy hair, crooked teeth, questionable body odor, or bewildering fashion choices (argyle sweater with seersucker pants FTL).
I don't comment on your addiction to coffee that has you running to the Good Earth shop for yet another $4 concoction that I have no desire to understand. Maybe I should come along when you go up to order coffee and then make fun of whatever the fuck it is that you order. Good idea except my short-term memory can't handle that many quasi-italian words at once and it would just come out as gibberish.
Ok, so, seriously....let's talk about something else. My dog. My curry addiction. My Vespa. My love of videogames. My incredibly tiny penis (if you need to talk about something that is an abnormal size). Just no more about the gulp.
Thanks
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Now playing: Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
via FoxyTunes
Just about every night shift I bring in one of my insulated 7-11 mugs full of diet pepsi. And they're pretty bigs mugs. The Xtreme gulp one is apparently 52oz of awesomeness and the G-Force one appears to be about the same, however with no claimed size on the side.
But really....does everyone at work need to comment every time I come through the door with these? I get it. It's pretty big. It's a lot of pop. I should be drinking water. Yes, I have to pee a lot. Yes, you would probably have to pee a lot.
Enough already. I don't take it upon myself to give my opinion about my coworkers' mousy hair, crooked teeth, questionable body odor, or bewildering fashion choices (argyle sweater with seersucker pants FTL).
I don't comment on your addiction to coffee that has you running to the Good Earth shop for yet another $4 concoction that I have no desire to understand. Maybe I should come along when you go up to order coffee and then make fun of whatever the fuck it is that you order. Good idea except my short-term memory can't handle that many quasi-italian words at once and it would just come out as gibberish.
Ok, so, seriously....let's talk about something else. My dog. My curry addiction. My Vespa. My love of videogames. My incredibly tiny penis (if you need to talk about something that is an abnormal size). Just no more about the gulp.
Thanks
----------------
Now playing: Frank Zappa - Sexual Harassment In The Workplace
via FoxyTunes
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
.... But the website is down
Well...we may have four new awesome reviews up, but for some reason our web hosting is down. It's been up and down all day....but it's been down for most of the evening. Really hope that's fixed tomorrow so all y'all can read the insanity.
Here's a dancing sheep to keep you entertained in the meantime.
Here's a dancing sheep to keep you entertained in the meantime.
Four new reviews up
Four new reviews are now online.
First off....
Mirchi
then that same night,
Raja Foods
Then
CookingForYou.ca
and finally....up to Red Deer for
Astha
Take a look....I think they're a pretty good read. But I'm biased...
First off....
Mirchi
then that same night,
Raja Foods
Then
CookingForYou.ca
and finally....up to Red Deer for
Astha
Take a look....I think they're a pretty good read. But I'm biased...
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Vacation
Just got back from vacation.....
It was kinda like this.
Just kidding.....except I did go camping. And I did get a summer cold....which really isn't fun. Camping is only fun if you don't actually have to be in/around your tent during the day. Especially if it's 35 degrees out. Having a summer cold is only bearable if you can take some extra time and sleep during the day. As you can tell, these things are exact opposites. I tried doing stuff....but just got too hot and head-achey and felt like crap. Then I tried to sleep....but the tent was waaaaay too hot, and I woke up in a huge puddle of sweat feeling even worse than I did before my nap.
And on top of this I got some kind of insect bite on my face that made 1/2 my lip blow up like a balloon. I was not impressed.
But now I'm back in town and just chillin. Wrote a couple more curry reviews for chelsea to get online when she's back from the arctic, and should be doing some housework and stuff but I think I'll try out that napping stuff in my nice comfy bed.
----------------
Now playing: Bob Dylan - Lay Lady Lay
via FoxyTunes
It was kinda like this.
Just kidding.....except I did go camping. And I did get a summer cold....which really isn't fun. Camping is only fun if you don't actually have to be in/around your tent during the day. Especially if it's 35 degrees out. Having a summer cold is only bearable if you can take some extra time and sleep during the day. As you can tell, these things are exact opposites. I tried doing stuff....but just got too hot and head-achey and felt like crap. Then I tried to sleep....but the tent was waaaaay too hot, and I woke up in a huge puddle of sweat feeling even worse than I did before my nap.
And on top of this I got some kind of insect bite on my face that made 1/2 my lip blow up like a balloon. I was not impressed.
But now I'm back in town and just chillin. Wrote a couple more curry reviews for chelsea to get online when she's back from the arctic, and should be doing some housework and stuff but I think I'll try out that napping stuff in my nice comfy bed.
----------------
Now playing: Bob Dylan - Lay Lady Lay
via FoxyTunes
Friday, July 25, 2008
The problem with Wikipedia
Yeah....that's it alright.
----------------
Now playing: The Flamin' Groovies - Shake Some Action
via FoxyTunes
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Curry Reviews
So, some of our loyal readers may have noticed that Matty and I decided to capitalize on the recent exposure and page hits that we got from the Herald article by not doing any curry reviews since May 26th.
Well, we haven't been super busy on the curry front. Just troubles scheduling and all that. We have sent in some reviews for Mirchi and Raja Foods that won't be up for a little while because Chelsea is away from her compy for a couple weeks.
We've also been re-visiting places, not for reviewing purposes....just cause we liked them (or despised them). I've gone to Punjabi Sweethouse again, and it is still one of my personal faves. We both did a revisit to Tiffin....we would recommend that you don't, still kinda ick. And I hit what used to be Kohi Noor with a friend only to find a new name and new ownership. We probably won't do a full review, it just wasn't that good anymore....but I might do a short one. I'll see if I can get a guest review from my secret dining guest.
Oh yeah...matty and I had curry tonight....I won't spoil it for both of you who actually read this.... but it got a 3/10.
----------------
Now playing: Skip James - Little Cow And Calf Is Gonna Die Blues
via FoxyTunes
Well, we haven't been super busy on the curry front. Just troubles scheduling and all that. We have sent in some reviews for Mirchi and Raja Foods that won't be up for a little while because Chelsea is away from her compy for a couple weeks.
We've also been re-visiting places, not for reviewing purposes....just cause we liked them (or despised them). I've gone to Punjabi Sweethouse again, and it is still one of my personal faves. We both did a revisit to Tiffin....we would recommend that you don't, still kinda ick. And I hit what used to be Kohi Noor with a friend only to find a new name and new ownership. We probably won't do a full review, it just wasn't that good anymore....but I might do a short one. I'll see if I can get a guest review from my secret dining guest.
Oh yeah...matty and I had curry tonight....I won't spoil it for both of you who actually read this.... but it got a 3/10.
----------------
Now playing: Skip James - Little Cow And Calf Is Gonna Die Blues
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Rock Band 2
Just read the track-lists for the upcoming sequel to Rock Band. Looks pretty damn good. Highlights for me include....
THE BOB...... Bob Dylan - Tangled Up In Blue
You just have to love this inclusion. No just because he's the greatest songwriter of all time, but it's a brilliant song in it's own rights. It's almost 6 minutes long but it tells such an awesome story. And hopefully this opens the way to some downloads from his 60's amphetamine-blues phase.
Elvis Costello - Pump It Up
Gotta love Declan. Another great songwriter....this may be one of his more "commercial" tracks....you hear it played in arenas all the time...even though I have a feeling a very large number of the spectators have no idea what it is.
Jethro Tull - Aqualung
Until they release a flute peripheral this band will never be the best suited for the game.... but this is a great song by a much over-looked group.
Journey - Anyway You Want It
You can call them crap. You can call them guilty-pleasure music. But one thing you can never say is that Journey would not be the ultimate Rock Band party band. Everyone knows their songs. And even if you don't really like them cause you're too busy naval gazing, or head-banging....they're a lot of fun. I can't imagine any group that would be more fun for more people, and that's what this game is really all about.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give it Away
I'm just glad it's not more rubbish from their last 3 albums. I really haven't had any use for these guys since "What Hits?" came out. They hit their commercial peak with "Under the Bridge" and ever since it's seemed like they've been chasing the tail of the fame dragon. Personally I'd prefer something from Mother's Milk or earlier.... back when they were a funky punk band.....or a punky funk band..... but this is a step away from Californication top 40 radio.... and that my friends is a step in the right direction.
In addition, apparently you'll be able to import any of the songs from the disc on Rock Band 1 to the game, and all of your prior downloaded content. So this game is coming out of the gates with something like 500 songs. Insane. I have friends whose music collections is smaller than that.
So I gave you the hits....how bout the misfires.
Tenacious D - Master Exploder
These guys rock. Their first album was a whole lot of fun. Despite it being a "comedy" album they actually had some really solid tunes and many of the jokes held up to repeated listens. Too bad this is from their second album. You know....the soundtrack to their movie that basically tried to be more awesome than their HBO tv series and failed. Where the hell is "Wonderboy", "Tribute" or even the title track from the Pick of Destiny album if they really really really wanted one from it. I hope they put some "D" downloaded content in the future.
Pearl Jam - Alive
According to the radio here in Calgary, Pearl Jam only has 2 albums. Whatever their latest one is, and Ten. Here's a song from Ten to let you know when the Harmonix guys stopped paying attention. I honestly don't dislike Ten...just Pearl Jam have so many good songs it's silly to just have one.
Linkin Park - One Step Closer
I don't even actually know this song off the top of my head, but it's Linkin (<---- not even an actual word) Park. I'd rather have to play "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" in yet another game than these guys.
Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way
Not actually a complaint about this song....it should be a fun one for mixed groups... (see Journey).... but I simply lament the missed opportunity. I'd just love to hear something by the Original Fleetwood Mac....you know...the hard-rockin blues outfit that wrote the song "Black Magic Woman"....That sound would be a perfect way to put in a brilliant song, probably on the cheap (not paying Santana seems like it would be less expensive than paying Santana") and expose people to some music history that they probably never would have ventured into otherwise. Plus it would be amazing fun to see the Rock Band message boards explode with people claiming this was some kind of a freaky error on the part of the game's producers.
The Beastie Boys - So Whatcha Want
I really like the Beastie Boys. And yes they started out as a more-or-less punk band so they have some rock chops. However this song does not seem to me like one of their more "rock" friendly tunes. Pretty much you've got Sabotage (already done) and "Fight For Your Right" .... and then you should just walk away from this group for rock band. Ok...maybe "Hey Ladies"....but I just love the cowbell.
What's missing?
Rolling Stones - They've been in the first game...and some guitar hero properties....so they're available...so why not more tunes.
Led Zep, Beatles etc - I wish. Although the good folks at Apple Records (not to be confused with Apple Computers who have absolutely nothing to do with music whatsoever, especially not devices used to play or programs to sell music, since that would violate the Apple Records copyright) have apparently entered talks to put some beatles songs on a future rhythm game, I won't be holding my breath.
The Blues - They've expanded into all sorts of genres of rock, including a couple trips into "Blues Rock"...so why not just throw us some genuine blues tunes. I have a feeling that the rights might be cheaper than average, and I think they'd be genuinely fun to play. And a lot of those old Muddy Waters and Howlin' Wolf etc songs are pretty rockin'
Soul - See The Blues....I for one would love to play/sing "Sittin On the Dock of the Bay", "Mustang Sally", "Respect" and others. Maybe they're not "rock".... but they certainly would make good use of all the instruments and would be a blast for the singer.
Ok...That is all for tonight it's 2:30am and I work at 7.
----------------
Now playing: Paul Simon - Graceland
via FoxyTunes
THE BOB...... Bob Dylan - Tangled Up In Blue
You just have to love this inclusion. No just because he's the greatest songwriter of all time, but it's a brilliant song in it's own rights. It's almost 6 minutes long but it tells such an awesome story. And hopefully this opens the way to some downloads from his 60's amphetamine-blues phase.
Elvis Costello - Pump It Up
Gotta love Declan. Another great songwriter....this may be one of his more "commercial" tracks....you hear it played in arenas all the time...even though I have a feeling a very large number of the spectators have no idea what it is.
Jethro Tull - Aqualung
Until they release a flute peripheral this band will never be the best suited for the game.... but this is a great song by a much over-looked group.
Journey - Anyway You Want It
You can call them crap. You can call them guilty-pleasure music. But one thing you can never say is that Journey would not be the ultimate Rock Band party band. Everyone knows their songs. And even if you don't really like them cause you're too busy naval gazing, or head-banging....they're a lot of fun. I can't imagine any group that would be more fun for more people, and that's what this game is really all about.
Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give it Away
I'm just glad it's not more rubbish from their last 3 albums. I really haven't had any use for these guys since "What Hits?" came out. They hit their commercial peak with "Under the Bridge" and ever since it's seemed like they've been chasing the tail of the fame dragon. Personally I'd prefer something from Mother's Milk or earlier.... back when they were a funky punk band.....or a punky funk band..... but this is a step away from Californication top 40 radio.... and that my friends is a step in the right direction.
In addition, apparently you'll be able to import any of the songs from the disc on Rock Band 1 to the game, and all of your prior downloaded content. So this game is coming out of the gates with something like 500 songs. Insane. I have friends whose music collections is smaller than that.
So I gave you the hits....how bout the misfires.
Tenacious D - Master Exploder
These guys rock. Their first album was a whole lot of fun. Despite it being a "comedy" album they actually had some really solid tunes and many of the jokes held up to repeated listens. Too bad this is from their second album. You know....the soundtrack to their movie that basically tried to be more awesome than their HBO tv series and failed. Where the hell is "Wonderboy", "Tribute" or even the title track from the Pick of Destiny album if they really really really wanted one from it. I hope they put some "D" downloaded content in the future.
Pearl Jam - Alive
According to the radio here in Calgary, Pearl Jam only has 2 albums. Whatever their latest one is, and Ten. Here's a song from Ten to let you know when the Harmonix guys stopped paying attention. I honestly don't dislike Ten...just Pearl Jam have so many good songs it's silly to just have one.
Linkin Park - One Step Closer
I don't even actually know this song off the top of my head, but it's Linkin (<---- not even an actual word) Park. I'd rather have to play "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" in yet another game than these guys.
Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way
Not actually a complaint about this song....it should be a fun one for mixed groups... (see Journey).... but I simply lament the missed opportunity. I'd just love to hear something by the Original Fleetwood Mac....you know...the hard-rockin blues outfit that wrote the song "Black Magic Woman"....That sound would be a perfect way to put in a brilliant song, probably on the cheap (not paying Santana seems like it would be less expensive than paying Santana") and expose people to some music history that they probably never would have ventured into otherwise. Plus it would be amazing fun to see the Rock Band message boards explode with people claiming this was some kind of a freaky error on the part of the game's producers.
The Beastie Boys - So Whatcha Want
I really like the Beastie Boys. And yes they started out as a more-or-less punk band so they have some rock chops. However this song does not seem to me like one of their more "rock" friendly tunes. Pretty much you've got Sabotage (already done) and "Fight For Your Right" .... and then you should just walk away from this group for rock band. Ok...maybe "Hey Ladies"....but I just love the cowbell.
What's missing?
Rolling Stones - They've been in the first game...and some guitar hero properties....so they're available...so why not more tunes.
Led Zep, Beatles etc - I wish. Although the good folks at Apple Records (not to be confused with Apple Computers who have absolutely nothing to do with music whatsoever, especially not devices used to play or programs to sell music, since that would violate the Apple Records copyright) have apparently entered talks to put some beatles songs on a future rhythm game, I won't be holding my breath.
The Blues - They've expanded into all sorts of genres of rock, including a couple trips into "Blues Rock"...so why not just throw us some genuine blues tunes. I have a feeling that the rights might be cheaper than average, and I think they'd be genuinely fun to play. And a lot of those old Muddy Waters and Howlin' Wolf etc songs are pretty rockin'
Soul - See The Blues....I for one would love to play/sing "Sittin On the Dock of the Bay", "Mustang Sally", "Respect" and others. Maybe they're not "rock".... but they certainly would make good use of all the instruments and would be a blast for the singer.
Ok...That is all for tonight it's 2:30am and I work at 7.
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Now playing: Paul Simon - Graceland
via FoxyTunes
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Happy Canada Day
Happy Canada Day everyone! Do you know why we celebrate Canada Day every year on July 1st? No?... oh...well let me tell you.
Primarily it is a celebration of the adoption of O' Canada as our national anthem in 1980. Prior to this, the Canadian national anthem was "God Save the King" from 1867 until 1969 when it was replaced by "These Eyes" by The Guess Who?. While the government took heavy criticism for replacing "God Save the King" with a "Pop Song", they struck down all dissent by arguing that the King had been dead since 1952, and the smooth harmonies and beautiful instrumentation of The Guess Who? was something that all Canadians could really get behind. Except for the French.
Also, it is a celebration of the birth-date of one of our greatest citizens and cultural ambassadors, Pamela Anderson. You might remember her as the star of the blockbuster motion picture "Barb Wire" (a cutting-edge Casablanca remake), the hit television program "VIP", and the homemade video "Pam and Tommy Go For a Boat Ride and Some Stuff Happens".
July 1st is also "Moving Day" in Quebec. A lot of people in Quebec don't actually enjoy being part of Canada so they like to do their own thing on certain national occasions. Moving day is an annual temper-tantrum where-by the French-speaking portion of our nation hold their collective breath and stamp their collective feet and threaten to move back to France unless the rest of the nation gives-in to their demands. Since they have no specific demands, other than that their speeding tickets in Alberta be presented to them bilingually, Moving Day generally passes without major incident.
So there you have it kids. The story of Canada Day.
Primarily it is a celebration of the adoption of O' Canada as our national anthem in 1980. Prior to this, the Canadian national anthem was "God Save the King" from 1867 until 1969 when it was replaced by "These Eyes" by The Guess Who?. While the government took heavy criticism for replacing "God Save the King" with a "Pop Song", they struck down all dissent by arguing that the King had been dead since 1952, and the smooth harmonies and beautiful instrumentation of The Guess Who? was something that all Canadians could really get behind. Except for the French.
Also, it is a celebration of the birth-date of one of our greatest citizens and cultural ambassadors, Pamela Anderson. You might remember her as the star of the blockbuster motion picture "Barb Wire" (a cutting-edge Casablanca remake), the hit television program "VIP", and the homemade video "Pam and Tommy Go For a Boat Ride and Some Stuff Happens".
July 1st is also "Moving Day" in Quebec. A lot of people in Quebec don't actually enjoy being part of Canada so they like to do their own thing on certain national occasions. Moving day is an annual temper-tantrum where-by the French-speaking portion of our nation hold their collective breath and stamp their collective feet and threaten to move back to France unless the rest of the nation gives-in to their demands. Since they have no specific demands, other than that their speeding tickets in Alberta be presented to them bilingually, Moving Day generally passes without major incident.
So there you have it kids. The story of Canada Day.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
We're Famous!!!!!
There's one thing that has been true since the dawn of time. If you're in the paper, you're famous.
This was true when I was a 14 year old scoring one crappy goal in a losing effort playing hockey in Estevan, Saskatchewan, and it's certainly true now.
Check out the article from today's Calgary Herald - Bite Into Blogosphere
The part about us reads
All I can say is finding out about this totally made my day. Also apparently the link from DodgyCurry.ca to here is spelled wrong....so there's probably no-body reading this anyway.
ren
This was true when I was a 14 year old scoring one crappy goal in a losing effort playing hockey in Estevan, Saskatchewan, and it's certainly true now.
Check out the article from today's Calgary Herald - Bite Into Blogosphere
The part about us reads
We don't know much about the two guys, Ren and Matt, who run this site. If one is to believe their "bio," Matt's history involves everything from starring in Bollywood films to seeing an apparition which gave him "the strength and culinary astuteness of 10,000 Michelin chefs." Whoever they are, Matt and Ren's mission is "to provide the average white man with insight on Calgary's most notoriously dodgy restaurants." With their conversation-style reviews that will make you laugh (and make you hungry), they do it well.
All I can say is finding out about this totally made my day. Also apparently the link from DodgyCurry.ca to here is spelled wrong....so there's probably no-body reading this anyway.
ren
Sunday, June 22, 2008
This weekend's action
So my great friend (and DodgyCurry.ca webmistress) Chelsea came to town this weekend to attend the Virgin Music Festival. I decided not to go, since I don't really know or care for any of the acts, but we got to hang out on Friday anyway.
We started out by going out for lunch at Tiffin Curry and Roti House. after Matty and I had decided it was time for a re-visit. (More on that at a later date) We'd originally given it a 5/10 but had hoped that we'd just gone on a bad day and that we would have a much improved dining experience this time. I'll just say that we were let down, and I'll tell the whole story once Matty and I figure out what to do with it.
Then we headed back to my place to play some Lego Indiana Jones. It's a pretty fun and simple game. One of the best I've played for two people co-op. In this day and age of online gaming it's kinda nice to have a game that is actually built for 2 people in the same room to play and is even improved by the experience.
After a couple Dark and Stormys (rum and ginger beer with lime....mmmm) we had some food and moved on to watching a movie. The movie of the night.... The 36th Chamber of Shaolin. I'm pretty sure the Wu-Tang Clan watched this one waaaaay too much as kids since they reference it (and other Kung Fu classics) about every 5 seconds.
I'm not going to spoil the plot for you, but a large chunk of running time is spent on the basic training that our hero goes through. Possibly the inspiration for the Karate Kid's Wax-on Wax-off, our hero has to carry heavy buckets of water without letting his arms sag and smash his head against sandbags to get across a plaza. Unlike most movies in the genre, the final fight isn't the big payoff, it's the long hard journey to become a kung fu master that makes the movie. It's known as one of the best of all-time, and rightly so. Check it out.
We started out by going out for lunch at Tiffin Curry and Roti House. after Matty and I had decided it was time for a re-visit. (More on that at a later date) We'd originally given it a 5/10 but had hoped that we'd just gone on a bad day and that we would have a much improved dining experience this time. I'll just say that we were let down, and I'll tell the whole story once Matty and I figure out what to do with it.
Then we headed back to my place to play some Lego Indiana Jones. It's a pretty fun and simple game. One of the best I've played for two people co-op. In this day and age of online gaming it's kinda nice to have a game that is actually built for 2 people in the same room to play and is even improved by the experience.
After a couple Dark and Stormys (rum and ginger beer with lime....mmmm) we had some food and moved on to watching a movie. The movie of the night.... The 36th Chamber of Shaolin. I'm pretty sure the Wu-Tang Clan watched this one waaaaay too much as kids since they reference it (and other Kung Fu classics) about every 5 seconds.
I'm not going to spoil the plot for you, but a large chunk of running time is spent on the basic training that our hero goes through. Possibly the inspiration for the Karate Kid's Wax-on Wax-off, our hero has to carry heavy buckets of water without letting his arms sag and smash his head against sandbags to get across a plaza. Unlike most movies in the genre, the final fight isn't the big payoff, it's the long hard journey to become a kung fu master that makes the movie. It's known as one of the best of all-time, and rightly so. Check it out.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Paying the bills
Paying for curry week after week can get expensive. Matty and I have long pondered ways to make a bit of money off the site, and really haven't come up with much that would not compromise our journalistic integrity. We could see if restaurant owners would give us free food since we are reviewers...but how do you give someone a 3 when they just gave you food? Too much conflict of interest.
We've considered putting some merch on Cafe-press. .... unfortunately we don't really have any artistic talent so you'd have to buy shirts and mugs that just say "DodgyCurry.ca" in plain font on a white background..... probably won't be a very hot seller. If you know anyone who is an artist that would like to donate some time and skill (maybe in exchange for some paneer pakoras) hook us up. We'd love you forever.
So, yeah...in the meantime, while we wait for our artist in shining armor to show up, I decided to sign this blog up on the amazon associate program. Nothing special, but if you click through the links that will start appearing on some of my posts here and buy stuff, I get some $$$. Good deal, and if it's something you were going to buy anyway it's not really too much of a hassle. And if you don't like them...don't click on them. Easy as cake.
So check it out.
We've considered putting some merch on Cafe-press. .... unfortunately we don't really have any artistic talent so you'd have to buy shirts and mugs that just say "DodgyCurry.ca" in plain font on a white background..... probably won't be a very hot seller. If you know anyone who is an artist that would like to donate some time and skill (maybe in exchange for some paneer pakoras) hook us up. We'd love you forever.
So, yeah...in the meantime, while we wait for our artist in shining armor to show up, I decided to sign this blog up on the amazon associate program. Nothing special, but if you click through the links that will start appearing on some of my posts here and buy stuff, I get some $$$. Good deal, and if it's something you were going to buy anyway it's not really too much of a hassle. And if you don't like them...don't click on them. Easy as cake.
So check it out.
Monday, June 16, 2008
The most vicious dogs in the world
Any of you guys out there that like dogs should really check out this site about the Michael Vick dogs.
It's really incredible what they were able to do here. Most times, when a dog-fighting ring is broken up they simply euthanize all of the animals because it's assumed that they would have been so mentally damaged that it would be impossible to rehabilitate them and have them lead normal lives with a loving family. It's kind of like how when an army liberates a POW camp the first thing they do is kill all their soldiers that were there. After all that twisted-ass POW life it's unlikely that they'd be able to reincorporate into society back home. It's the "humane" thing to do....oh wait...they don't do that....what the hell....
So, yeah....for whatever reason the Feds decided to let these rescue groups test and take care of the animals and make the choice of which ones were suited for family life, and which weren't. The website tells the story waaaay better than I could, but let's just say that even the Pit bull rescue groups were amazed at how many of these dogs could be saved from their lives of neglect and brutal outright abuse.
It's a heartwarming story, but you still might need a tissue.....
Here's my foster puppy Rocky from Pitbulls for Life. Isn't he just the cutest!!!
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Now playing: The Stooges - I Wanna Be Your Dog
via FoxyTunes
It's really incredible what they were able to do here. Most times, when a dog-fighting ring is broken up they simply euthanize all of the animals because it's assumed that they would have been so mentally damaged that it would be impossible to rehabilitate them and have them lead normal lives with a loving family. It's kind of like how when an army liberates a POW camp the first thing they do is kill all their soldiers that were there. After all that twisted-ass POW life it's unlikely that they'd be able to reincorporate into society back home. It's the "humane" thing to do....oh wait...they don't do that....what the hell....
So, yeah....for whatever reason the Feds decided to let these rescue groups test and take care of the animals and make the choice of which ones were suited for family life, and which weren't. The website tells the story waaaay better than I could, but let's just say that even the Pit bull rescue groups were amazed at how many of these dogs could be saved from their lives of neglect and brutal outright abuse.
It's a heartwarming story, but you still might need a tissue.....
Here's my foster puppy Rocky from Pitbulls for Life. Isn't he just the cutest!!!
----------------
Now playing: The Stooges - I Wanna Be Your Dog
via FoxyTunes
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